Sunday, May 8, 2011

OS - They could live without me for a month couldn't they?

  • They could live without me for a month couldn't they?

    I bet they could.  Thing is where can I ship them off to for a month?  Maybe when Joe gets back I can say screw Disney you guys go to the islands for a month.  Right now all the kids are in their rooms and from the silence and the fact they're staying there they know mom's about to lose it.  If they just stick with it for a few hours all may be well.  Maybe they'll fall asleep.  Maybe someone will bring it up to whoever dictates such things and point out that after eighty or ninety days MOM NEEDS A FRICKEN BREAK.  Last night was nice, but getting a Costco sized sample just makes it all the worse when you realize you can't get the whole 20 pound bag.   Stupid thing is all I ask for is time alone at home.  I know the boys will be in first grade in 2 years but will I last that long?  Oh god it's quiet in here.  Hell maybe I'll just sign them up for the full day "enrichment program" and tell Joe to pay for it.  Maybe I'll become a lesbian and join a nudist colony that farms organically and treats animals nicely.  Then lots of people would see my turtles.  Joe called this morning, he was on a bus on the way to Fort Carson.  He should be home in less than a week.  I'm pretty sure he's going to want sex.  I'm pretty sure he's going to be nice because he's fucked up royally and on some I'm sure un-admitted level he knows it.  How do you live with that?  I can forgive and maybe forget but do you have to live with the hypocrite knowing what he is?  Knowing what he'll do as soon as you let down your guard?  I really don't want to spend the rest of my life being a bitch.  Maybe he wants me to because then he can use the line "my wife is such a bitch".  Power to the bitches of the world, they seem to have the right idea.

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