Friday, December 23, 2011

Too much? Shhhhhh.....don't tell anyone.....blah blah blah poop.....

Message body

We have not spoken much about what the boys are eligible for after my death. My disability benefits will stop immediately. The boys are eligible under what is called DIC or dependent indemnity compensation from the VA. Each one should receive up to 350.00 each per month. I don't know how much they will get from Social Security, that will be determined by them but I'm estimating up to 900.00 each.
I have chosen not to pay anymore on my life insurance benefits and will probably be terminated. Self inflicted deaths are not covered anyway.
You have killed me many times before my actual death. I can't believe how you hounded me about online crap while in Afghanistan. Other wives worry about their spouse's safety and your biggest concern was you internet crap. You tracked me like an animal until our separation through online, cell phone or at the mention of a woman's name while you were screwing around with ex lovers and other men from online and offline. Most of the things I learned about was after the fact.
It was difficult coming home all screwed up mentally, physically, and emotionally and you compounding it daily by your endless interrogation of my daily activities at work where I had to drag myself to perform daily. You were accusing me daily of infidelity when you were the one that was committing it daily. I wonder how many afternoons you spent in a motel with  *********** screwing him or some other @@@@ buddy you have on my dime and coming home to give me my daily ration of shit.
I find it totally appalling that you present yourself as being all holy and righteous when you are nothing more than a gold digging white trash. You might want to look at the fraud you committed when we separated. You were getting child support and in-kind support in the amount of 2,850.00 monthly. That would not have qualified you for food stamps and cash from welfare.It'll suck for your taxes and pay to get garnished to pay back all the amount you defrauded the state.Not to mention that you were selling your food stamps to your mom for cash.
Well, not much to say, other than death is welcome considering all the hell you've put me through the last one being May 2nd of last year when you deliberately assaulted me and damaged my body further that what it had. Life has not been the same for me since that day. I'm tired of waking up to daily pain and headaches and having that greet me each day.
I hope you are prepared to deal with the boys and their anger, behavioral problems and possibly suicide attempts when all of this is over. We love each other so much that you are bound to be the focus and blame for their anger, resentment, and the fact that their dad won't be a part of their lives anymore.
It hurts me to look at them and know that I won't be around for their 10th Birthday and beyond. This might be a relief for you since you are always looking at my demise. Your response when I told you that I tried to hang myself on May 2nd of last year in jail was...."Too bad you didn't die!"
I will make sure that whatever method I use is 100 percent successful. Christmas Day is coming up and maybe I'll just give you and the kids a Christmas you'll never forget. As far as things go for me, I've been dead since I came back from Afghanistan other than biological death which will happen soon. Dying does not bother me one bit. A 1 oz. slug coming out of a 12 gauge and the barrel in one's mouth will assure a certain death. One millisecond is not much wait for that slug to sever the spine from the brain at the cerebral cortex and the whole world as I know it will turn black forever. Peace at last!
These are some thoughts you may want to look at or forget. Do not try to complicate things by printing this email and taking it to DHS or wherever the @@@@ you take it to. I love my boys and will not harm them in anyway. Please allow them their visitation on Christmas day since this will be the last time they wll be seeing their dad. 
I know you're not supposed to air dirty laundry and such but maybe the world would be a better place if more people did.  After years of crap I can now say he has been arrested on 5 counts of sexual something in the first degree all of which are measure 11 offenses and he will probably be in jail for a bit.....don't know how long of a bit. 
Merry Christmas.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Really? Really, really really?

     I mean really?  Things are settling out, tread lightly, establish boundaries......this can work.  Boys are gone, with him........the girls and I are sitting around talking and she starts crying and lamenting never having had a "nice guy" living in the house and how she remembers hiding when her dad came home from work and how the other he wasn't any better with his "It's ok to do this's".  Oooops.....hadn't told me that part before.  I'd only heard the sleazy questionable parts, not the I couldn't get away because his arms were around my waist parts, or the alone in the room clothes off touching parts.  She told her sister, who did tell me about the money and birth control part and I did have that out with him, she told two, possibly three friends, who told no one.  She didn't tell me anything.  He would have been gone long before the totally losing it and the threats of death.  By the way.......don't do that around children.  It lands you in jail.  Wth, wth, wth?  I mean really?  Wth is he thinking?  He's doing this during the same time period that his brother is being sentenced to 8 years for the same thing.  Really?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

It's warm in here, but then again.....I am wearing flannel

   Don't know what's been going on lately but I've been sleeping 5-6 hours and getting up.  I don't have a problem with that as such but when one goes to bed at 10:00 one then gets up at 3:00 or 4:00.  That's early enough that the spiders are still running around freely.  I don't see spiders during the day much but they skitter around at night.  Spiders aside, I have this great urge to buy paint......but I won't.  Not til the quantity of stuff in the house levels out to an appropriate amount of stuff for the size of the house.  I figure that to be oh........1250 sq. ft. divided by 5......250 sq ft each, divide by age of person......multiply by number of pets.....yeah, way less than we have.  It amazes me how much stuff goes out of this house and there's still more.  When Tom left he took 2-3 pick-up loads, I've always got a Goodwill box going, in the past year I've hauled 4-5 van loads off....and yet there's more.  I keep thinking I must be getting to the end, I must.  I pulled 4 large boxes of stuff out of the boys room a couple days ago......I have faith it will end. 

    I've heard that people in times of change or uncertainty start to hold onto stuff in case they need it, I've always gotten rid of stuff.  If you give it away it always comes back when you need it....if you sell it you have to buy it back if you need it lol.  Anyway, times of whatever I've always wanted to be unfettered by stuff.  Almost there, yeah....almost there.......AND, once I am I can buy PAINT!!!  Does anyone else think one exclamation point looks too feeble?  or is that just me?  Once the stuff is done I'm going to take everything off the walls and sit back and relax as if I were in Yoville or my little Sim house......I'm not nuts, it's early and I don't care.  If I don't work today, I'll go through stuff and maybe clean up the side yard or pick blackberries. 

Off to shower then start the round of kids awakenings........first day of school and all.

Friday, August 12, 2011

How do you make that sound? It's not quite a raspberry but kind of a raspberry whew combo?

     Well it's been quite a year, two months and eleven days.....or 437 my 5 or so tubes of paint out and dragged the big canvas out from behind the couch and made me a picture so hopefully I can change my direction a bit back towards where I want it to be.  I like my picture, it's blue and red (limited colors lol), nobody else does but that's ok....ok I lie....Carolee says she does but she's just nice and I can always force a child to like it.  Childhood family folk never say anything, I think they just cringe and say "OMG she's doing something DIFFERENT.....stop her, stop her quick".   You think I jest?  I've been banned for the posting of a cute picture of two people having fun....omg.  Ever feel like you're stuck in a Martha Stewart world?  Anyway.........'s funny how I feel like I can talk about stuff now but don't really want to. Maybe I'll give it a the HUGE concrete pad in the backyard.  Really?  Ok, I refer to the thing as the Mega shed project or the Launchpad.........whatever you call it it ain't coming out so I've been trying to figure out exactly what to do with it.......It's huge, no idea how big exactly but big enough for a largest possible shed, a greenhouse, and a hot tub "structure".......and it's visibly crooked.  I mean really....who goes into a project of such magnitude and expense WITHOUT A PLAN????   Whatever, I now am the possessor of such a treasure.  I know how much fill is in there because I put it there, I know how much re-bar and concrete are in there because I wrote the checks.....and I know it would cost more to take it, cool bbq?  fire pit?  gazebo?  planter box garden?  all of the above?  What does it matter lol, the whole yard has gone to pot....heehee, I said gone to pot.  Ironically that is the one thing I don't have to worry about it going to anymore.  Next year, next year I'll get on the yard.  Maybe this year.......nah.  This year I'll aim for some semblance of not needing a herd of goats to get it back under control. 

     I finally got into the subbing thing around Christmas time last year and that'll do for now, actually got hired for a job in february of last year but with the way things were with the schools and budgets they just let all temporary positions go to make room for permanent people shuffling around.   So, back on the sub list I go.  It's not a job one does for the pay lol....took a 20-25% paycut this year over last year, no benefits and no stability......but it has an awesome schedule.  I like the work for the most part and once I get it figured out and go get my masters I can at least sub at a higher level lol.  I wanted to write lyrics for Under the Boardwalk except make it Back on the Sub List a while ago, never did.  Maybe I will tonight.  Off topic here, but one thing I like about life now is that I can buy and actually listen to music now.....which I'm doing now : D . 

     Kids......hmmmm....who knows how they're doing.  I've given the girls an excellent education in what not to do with their lives.  I worry about Anna becoming too hard, I worry about Isaac being too sensitive, Jake is a survivor....he may wreak havoc elswhere but he'll be fine.  I worry about Katie the least, hopefully she'll avoid the pitfalls.......but if she doesn't she'll be ok.  She reminds me a lot of me, she'll sit back figure it out and move on. 

     I wish I didn't have to do all the self protective measures, I wish things could just be logical and sane, but I guess they aren't going to be.  Things are going to be expletives and threats and all I can do is know the legalities and stay within those boundaries and all should be fine.  And I hope he's with his current long enough to transfer all of his stuff onto her lol.......poor woman.  Anyway. 


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

It's hot and I'm jazzed on coffee

  Those are good nights.....those nights where you kinda feel like staying up and kinda feel like lot's a coffee.  They used to be nights of spastic laundry dish doing until I saw the light one night.    Did you know you can spastically do every dish, wash every bit of fabric in the house, sweep every corner and it doesn't matter?  It doesn't.  ok....I will admit if you never do any of those things you will regret the 3 day laundry marathon that you eventually get to......yeah I'm down to I think 3 loads.  It's been a sucky 3 days lol.  Now it's more a time to go buy those songs you keep looking up on you tube, good golly it's hot.  What happened?  Did my order to cancel summer get lost?  Fall, winter, spring, fall, winter, spring that's all we need.  Though I must admit the allergy issue was much alleviated today....just noticed that actually.  I don't think I've blown my nose once or scared a cat with a sneeze all day.  Cool. 

Anyway, school ended, my temporary position has ended but at least now I have a work history more recent than 10 years ago.  Got to the end to experience just a bit of drama....Nooooooo, I don't do drama, I don't do drama, I don't do drama........aaaackkkk.   Drama survived, besides who am I fooling I either do do drama or attract it really well.  I just wanna laze around looking for bunnies in the clouds......or giraffes or big scary monsters.  The one who mustn't be mentioned, I'll just call him Tom.  That's T O W M B M switched around to towmmb which sorta sounds like Tom.  So anyway, Tom blew a gasket again, this time over Father's day......something like this. Him "I want the boys on Father's day" me "OK", him "Blah blah blah call attorney denying me rights blah blah blah blah", me "enough already I said ok".  End of call, 10 minutes later....ring "hello?" he "hi I'm an attorney" me "oh for pete's sake".  Of course I paraphased a bit, left out some expletives and tears and such crap, but that's the gist of it.  So as a result of that conversation the boys and I got to take the train and it has been dictated that we are following the visitation schedule to the letter, no variation.  This works out great for me because I like to plan and now I can.......would suck for someone who doesn't plan very well.   I got me a calendar and have the next year and a half scheduled out now......go ahead, give me a date and I'll tell you who's got the boys. 

Let's see, boys are done with baseball......they won the playoffs woohoo, go boys team.....and done with cubscouts for the normal stuff.  Unfortunately most of the summer activities fall on Tom's days but that's ok, though there were a couple I had been looking forward to.  Oh well.  Anna is now a member of the Olyannes, the school dance team,  oh dude.....I just noticed they're the Olyannes and she's Anna....she's an Olyanna!!!  Katie is still trucking along with the violin and seems perfectly content with that.  Dogs went up to a schauzer rescue in Washington and have been adopted by people who are doing such things as taking them to classes and probably putting bows in their hair and I have reverted back to cats as I had before.....I had 5 at one point lol.  Then they all got gone....Cloe, Lucy, Nuts, Henry and Emily.  Now I've got George and Surely.  The household pet shui has been restored. 

I'm tired, life is good......g'night.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Oh who it what you like

Hello.  This is going to be a mind making up exercise.  I have a problem.  It's huge........gargantuan even.  Almost too much for one person to bear.  Are you ready for this?  My parents want to throw me a 40th birthday/you're divorced.......again type party.  You'd think I could find something else to not be able to sleep over.  I guess I'm lucky that's all I've got to fret about......." parents want to throw me a party, can you believe the audacity?"  I'm looking forward to turning 40.....I've been telling people I'm 40 for the better part of a year already anyway.  It does seem weird to be 40.....I don't feel 40, still feel about 26........29 was a good year also,  although that could be attributed to the end of decade divorce phenomenon.  Have you ever decided that you were just not going to use a form of punctuation?  I have....won't use colons or semi-colons.  Anyway, as far as the divorce issue, I was thinking about it the other day and had a certain feeling of accomplishment come over me......there's something to be said for doing it, not once but twice, that well......I don't know.......kind of makes you feel freer or stronger or less likely to really care what the neighbors think about your armpit high lawn or when you get the blank stare over some perfectly logical statement.  Maybe it just makes you weird?  So anyway, I've been stewing over telling my parents no I don't want no stinkin' party and just saying ta hell with it and just giving them a list of every person I've ever met.  Well maybe not every person.....hell why not?

Sunday, May 8, 2011’d I go there?
Posted Date: : Jul 14, 2008 11:24 PM
Today was the first day of the pigfest….I mean County Fair.  In defense though there are a lot of pigs there.  Grandpa brought Anna and Katie out there this morning and I managed to get there with the other four there by 9:30 am.  Anna did her showing thing, her pigs apparently stink, but Anna did ok.  It was the judging of the animal day and face it, if your  pig don't have good hams, your pig don't have good hams.  I can relate as I don't have good hams either….though my bacon is fine.  So me and the four wandered around the fair afterwards til about 2:45 then went home.  Tomorrow I need to have all six out there by 7:00.  The only benefit of having to be there so early is that there's no one at the gate to pay….muahaha….I don't feel bad though because after 4 days I think they should pay me to come back in.  I swear the kids and I have seen Professor Bamboozle's show at least 30 times over the years.  Somehow I ended up telling the kids I'd give them each $20 to spend as they see fit, I never would have done that with just my own but the other two don't understand not going on rides.  Doesn't make sense does it?  Actually I figure it makes perfect sense….that's why some utility is frequently shut off lol.  I just can't, seriously, I can't hand over the cash……..I mean really WTH….$4 to go in a circle (take the $4 and multiply by 6……um no).  I'm not stingy or cheap really because I have no problem giving them the $20, but to stand there and fork it over myself hurts.  Really.  At least this way I don't have to be the mean one humming and hawing

Ok, this is five days later…….computer went freaky on me when I was writing the above so I just gave up.  Ironically it started back spacing on everything but the back space key itself has never worked, The One Who Mustn't be Mentioned says it's something in the computer, I say it's the keyboard because it's done it since we bought it and the old one never had that problem.  Seems to me we could have returned it right away and tried another one out, but noooooo.   So now we have no backspace ability. Se la vie.  Anna showed her pig again on Friday and did an awesome job of it, and I don't say that lightly….she really did.  The auction was Saturday night and Molly I think went for $560, not as good as years past but still decent for a 12 yo.  Besides the pig had lame hams. 
I've got Junior over here for awhile, his mom's trying to have a baby…soon, soon.  He's a sweetheart though he freaks Isaac out a bit.  Um…..Dorkbutt filed an "injured spouse claim".  Idiot.  Though I'm actually glad he did because now I can move forward un-impeded with this need to be fair to the moron.  The one who mustn't be mentioned says I/we should take legal measures to actually get what he owes and should have been paying all these years.  Crap.  I do have all the paper work though, just a pain in the butt.  Why couldn't he have just been happy taking advantage of us?  Why does he persist in being  the perpetual victim?  Ack…best thing I ever did was divorce him.  I feel sorry for Connie though.  Anyway, the only thing I can think of that would have been an injury to him is that he didn't ask for a modification when he got fired from yet another good job and kept having the same child support but that was only a difference of $35 a month, hardly worth arguing 4 years later.  He's so stupid…you know how stupid he is?  A month or so ago he comes to get the girls and is all manly and puffed up and going to get his way and make me obey.  So he says "you  need to come get the girls on Sunday because the price of gas is killing me and you need to do something to help me out because I'm poor and you sit on your butt all day and do nothing"  or something of that ilk, so I say "ok, we just paid $1020 for the girls down payment on their braces you can pay your half then" and he goes "sputter sputter I don't have $500" I say "I know, that's why we're not making you pay it" and he goes "but you have to help me and pick up the girls".  I have no problem getting the girls from somewhere if it's hard for him to do it but he's talking the price of gas and how it's breaking him…….I know he's no good at math but honestly…..$4 once or twice a month shouldn't break the bank…give up a slurpee or something.  He doesn't seem to have any comprehension of the money paid that he is supposed to be paying, I would think if someone isn't pursuing you for $500 that you would let the $4 slide.  $4 that isn't even their responsibility to begin with.  You know…back when we got divorced I, the one with the kids who made $900 a month, sat in the lawyers office and through my own stupidity said he, the one who makes $2000 can't afford to pay $471 a month in child support, and to bring it down to $350.  Which they did.  May not sound like much but since then that adds up to almost $12,000  that I left in his stupid little wallet.  Add to that the loan we split for which he has neglected to pay his half for the past 4 years or so at about a gift from us amount of around $7200.  Then throw in such things as the half he's supposed to pay for any medical/dental/optical stuff that we have never asked him for and it all adds up to MAJOR DORK.  All he has done for the past 7-8 years is gripe that he can't claim one of the girls on his taxes, the cs amounts are set with the criteria that the custodial parent claims the kids, besides the fact that WHY SHOULD I LET HIM?  I don't exactly owe him anything.  Unless you ask him…..he'd say he should have the house….he only let me have it because I had the girls.  Besides the fact that I STILL HAVE THE GIRLS and he's just too incapable to be able to buy a house on his own…..someone has to fill out the paperwork you know, the house was a fair deal…..I could have taken half of his Pers at about $7500, the house had no equity…we could have sold the house had nothing for it and I could have taken half his retirement account instead.  Is it my fault he kept all of his retirement,  cashed  it out and now has nothing?   Nope.  If you ask him exactly how I have "screwed him over" he won't be able to come up with anything.  Just whiny, "I'm too stupid to be able to manage my life crap, poor little me".    So anyway, let him file his injured spouse claim and when it's over I'm though cutting him any slack for being stupid……. I'm getting to be good at bitchy I think.
Subject : Sandwich bread and flowers
Posted Date: : Jul 8, 2008 9:40 AM
It's Tuesday, day whatever of I don't know how many days til school starts up.  I don't mind the kids being around; it's just that it's the first year in a long time where all kids will be gone all day.  OMG.  Summer's actually trucking along pretty nicely, no obnoxious weather, kids are decent, and life is good.  I picked my first official yard bouquet on Sunday, it's daisies, poppies and lavender.  It has only taken me 10-ish years to get stuff planted to pick….and life is good……and it's a very pretty bouquet to boot.  Thinking ahead to lunchtime, which I rarely do before breakfast if ever, I realized I had nothing normal to give them.  I guess I frequently don't but that's another story.  Anyway I actually got some bread going in the bread machine.  A white bread, said it was perfect for sandwiches.  We'll see.  I've yet to make a bread that was the wonderful homemade   sandwich type bread.  Winco used to sell farm bread and it was just totally awesome but they stopped.  Probably because it was too good.  It competed with the sales of the nasty Wonder stuff.   At any rate my little machine is chugging away over there for me. 
Dorkbutt got deployed…'d think he would be happy about it lol…..but I don't think he is.  Probably because now he can't complain about how much the one who mustn't be mentioned makes because he'll make the same…..ha.  Ha ha.   It's only six months though.  My brother is going to be nearby, across a border but close, maybe they can get together.  Maybe not lol.  Maybe I should go check on breakfast?

OS - Pasteurized processed cheese food substitute......

 Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food Substitute........
Posted Date: : Jul 8, 2008 8:32 AM
.......what is it and should we be eating it?  Have you ever given it much thought?  I have...since I was a wee child....pasteurized processed cheese food substitute and orange juice drink.  In breaking it down it's pretty obvious, pasteurized - heated to a degree of deadness knocking out all enzymatic action, processed - put through the culinary wringer, cheese - I like cheese, food - food is good, you eat it.  So far so good, we're ate dead wrung out cheese food.  It's still in a food category.......but then they throw in substitute?  What is a food substitute?  There's some toy cheese over at the church nursery that most of the kids have tried to eat.  Is that what it is?  It looks real, even feels real, it could definitely work as a cheese substitute but I wouldn't want to eat it.  Think about it next time you're confronted with pasteurized processed cheese food substitute........same thing when you're confronted with a glass of orange juice drink....the orange drink that has nothing to do with the juice of oranges.  I could ask what is it?  But I won't.  I'll just put them both on the shelf with  Gold 'n' Soft, Wonder Bread, Twinkies and that Supersize Me guys french fries.  Maybe in a decade or three someone will need a snack. 

OS - On a happier note

  On a happier note
Posted Date: : Jun 30, 2008 8:42 AM
My husband is a jackass, I'm not.  That makes me happy.  So, I just got the oatmeal going for the kids, my own and Danielle and Erin.  Katie is a camp all week which is good because she doesn't like oatmeal.  They all wanted to play with the crap box so I said sure and while getting the scissors out of the scissor vase it got dropped and broken.....dangit.  I added it to my pile of broken pottery I've got going on the counter, fix or toss fix or toss?  It's the old fish or cut bait dilemma.  I'm thinking of making a broken pottery album in my pics.  I had all the kids listen to me explain why I have the right to be grumpy and agree with me.  Now that that's established we can move on.  Anna is going to a friends house at 1 today for a few hours, I probably will have to get gas...hmmmm.  How far will $4 get me lmao.  I've given myself 50 miles a week of driving and that should cover about what I do.  I'm sure I'm in the crazy minority but I like the gas is too mundane if you never have to think about it, besides people spend so much more a gallon on coffee and water so what's the big deal?  My opinion.  Of course I don't drive very far.  I need to go to Roth's, they've got cheap cantalope and yogurt through Tuesday.  I bought 6 cantalopes and 18 yogurts last week and they were gone by saturday.  I do love the crap box....Erin is making a robot face, Danielle a robot, Isaac a robot face, Jacob an I don't know, and Anna a cat toy.   Oh...Jake's making a cat toy too.  Jake's having a tough time of it right now and Anna said Jake keeps having fits just to have fits.......the genetics are strong in that one.  Toodles til later.
  Bras have bows so we don’t wear them inside out
Posted Date: : Jun 26, 2008 11:20 AM
I really think it's true, I use that little bow as a guide quite often.  Now the one I don't get is the tassle, there is a Queen Latifah line of under garments, did you know that?  Queen Latifah bras and panties......anyway I have two brassieres, a pink one and a black one, and they have this little dangly tassle....I feel so queenly......and it just tickles.  I don't get it but I'll let it slide.......though it was obviously designed by someone who doesn't wear bras.  Bows are enough in my opinion.  Without them I would frequently be wearing my bra inside out I think. 

OS - 18 years later

18 years later
Posted Date: : Jun 25, 2008 10:21 AM
I got a phone call oh, about 45 minutes ago from this fellow I met when I was 19.  He hadn't called for a few years because he left his phone on the roof of his car and drove off and lost it and had to go to Egypt to dig through old papers to find it again.  Um.  That's all, just um.  The reason I bring this up is because I'm wondering what is up with me that I would run far and fast from the guy who thinks I'm just so wonderfully perfect that I could never do any wrong and marry twice to men who think I need to prove myself worthy to be in their presence?  Maybe it was too scary up on the pedestal, it would be a long fall I guess.  He brought me a pineapple once....I like pineapple.  Back on my 23rd or 24th birthday he sent me this huge bouquet of flowers and hubby at the time....Dorkbutt, not the One Who Mustn't Be Mentioned.....didn't even notice, or rather figured I bought them myself.  Yup...bought myself mongo flowers.   I guess I know where to go if I ever feel like sitting on a pedestal.
Anna and Katie both have their mouth gear in place now, Anna just has normal braces but Katie has an expander thing in that will widen her mouth and make room for all her teeth.  I have to crank her head every morning which isn't as fun as it sounds, at first I was all this is ok, but now I'm afraid of breaking her.  She doesn't seem to mind much though, says it just hurts for a minute then goes numb.  Alrighty.
I explained to Isaac this morning what balls were, but not Jake.  Need to fix that lol.  "You stepped on my balls"  "what balls, I don't see any balls".  I just say why?  How?  and don't.  Now I must shower and go get grapes and cantaloupe.  and sugar.  sweet sweet sugar.

OS - Correction to the fat and dancing blogs sort of

  Correction to fat and dancing blogs sort of
Posted Date: : Jun 13, 2008 9:47 AM
So I blogged about being fat and most recently about me not dancing.  I was wrong, not about being fat, but about the non-dancing part.  I don't dance in public venues, this is true, but I used to dance ALOT at home.  I just realized   this morning, that for about the past year I've hardly listened to any music and I definitely haven't been dancing........ and that my friends is why I am fat.   Yes, it must be. 
My birthday is on monday....whoop whoop.  I was wanting to go to the beach but I've settled on going to the park and having a picnic, if anyone wants to go they're welcome ( Becca, Rebeka, Rachel, Shannon, Carolee???????) (and anyone else but I don't know anyone else that well but if you want to you can come so it might be weird but thats ok).  Maybe I'll get a clown.  I like even birthdays better than uneven ones.  it seems wrong to be 37, 38 sounds ok but 37 sounds incomplete or something.  Maybe it's some sort of number feng shui.  I guess I'll deal for a year.  My cousin spent a year thinking she was a year older than she was, what a b-day present to be given an  extra year.  Unless it puts you back on to an  awkward number.  hmmm.  I'll think on that. 
I need to plant my planter out front.  I'm thinking of putting strawberries in them.  Then I need to figure out how to keep the cat from jumping up into the window one.  Hmmmm.......I'll think on that too.  Good Lord.....I'm listening to Slightly Stoopid and it's all mellow and then track seven comes on and you're all WTH........then you pick yourself up off the floor and go skip to eight.  Why do they do that?  Making a point or something?  "Hey guys.....know what would be really cool? fwoooooo......let's like scare the crap out of people  halfway through this thing."   Maybe I'm just old.  "Turn that noise down, that isn't music...real music has a rythym.  Whippersnapper."  I'm going to go take a shower, I coconut oiled my hair 2 days ago and I have this candy bar smelling thing still going on.  Oh, we went and got our cholesterol checked last was so romantic........mine rocks.  It's all the cheese, eggs, bacon, and coconut oil.  Ok, genetics may play a part in it too.  buh bye. 

OS - I don't dance

    I don’t dance
Posted Date: : Jun 8, 2008 1:31 AM
I don't, not I can't, but I don't.  You know how you go to bed and you're really tired and you're making those hhhhuuuuuccchhhh sounds but you just can't go to sleep?  You're lying there with thoughts just circling around in your head and just can't shake them?  Well that's me tonight.  I keep going over the lack of dance in my life and what's up with the Zyrtec commercials.  What is up with them, all they talk about is how taking Zyrtec for allergies gives you time, so much time you don't have when you use Claritin.  Like two hours you gain by using Zyrtec over Claritin because it starts working two hours quicker.  That's about the only aspect they push so I guess on all other levels it's about the same.  My problem with it all is that I use Claritin and love the way it works like in 10 minutes, so according to the commercial if I were to use Zyrtec instead of Claritin I would gain like an hour and 50 minutes.  Right?  According to them if I take a Claritin at 6 pm and it takes 10 minutes to kick in that I would have been allergy free at 4:10 pm if I had taken a Zyrtec.  Right?  So, a full hour and 50 minutes before I take the pill I would have been feeling the effects.  Cool.  Now the question that really bugs me.....what if you intend to take the Zyrtec at 6 pm but since you are already feeling the effects of this wonder pill at 4:10 you forget to actually take it?  Is there a sort of Zyrtec Mob that will come demand a payback?  Are you indebted to the next pill you take and lose all the hours of "free" relief you received against the next dose?  How does it work?  I think I'll just stick with Claritin.  Now where was I?  Oh....I don't dance.  Not I can't dance because I'm sure if someone stuck a gun to my head and demanded that I dance that I could pull off some sort of Jim Carrey/Damon Wayons parody of dance, but as far as intentionally going somewhere on purpose and moving my body to the rythym of the beat?  I just don't happen....yeah sure I can dance to Johnny Cash in the kitchen but that doesn't count.  Yes I have always been like this, I hated the hokey pokey, I all but refused to grow like a little flower, my Mom signed me up for dance class when I was about 10 and the only thing I remember about it was hating it intensely and begging my way out of going to the last class.  My Mom didn't make me go which means I must have done some really good begging.  Well, skip a bunch of stuff because now I'm getting tired, but just remember I will make a scene if you try and make me dance at a wedding or anywhere else. I will.  Wanna know another thing I don't do?  Public speaking, nope won't do it.  Maybe I just don't have anything to say.  Nah.  I got lots to say.   And on that note, this is Fanny Chanal bidding you adieu. 

OS - Just a quickie

 Just a quickie
Posted Date: : Jun 4, 2008 10:07 PM
Didn't have to take kids to graduation, alls well....whew.    

OS - Fanny Chanal

 Fanny Chanal
Posted Date: : Jun 4, 2008 2:58 PM
That's going to be my name if I ever need a new one.  Fanny Chanal.  Of course now I've given myself away if I embark on a life of crime.  Sh*t.  I'm tired, I think I had a case of the know when you just sit/lay there with your arms flung out making that hhhhuuuuuuuuuchhhhhhh sound?  I had that.....for three days.  Now I'm catching up on laundry.  We have a graduation to go to tonight......hhhhhhuuuuucchhhhhh.  I think instead of going to graduations, because you're supposed to graduate, there should be public humiliations for those that don't graduate, could be more interesting.  I guess they get to deal with enough after not graduating lol.  OK, fine go to graduations, I just haven't gotten over sitting through my own yet.  The kids are going to love it so.  I'm not too chipper right now......shoot me or something.   
I keep trying to work out how to get a week alone.  It doesn't work....where can you send all your kids and husband for a week?  At the same time?  Can they all go into cold storage?  Hmmmm......I guess I just wait til the boys start first grade next year and have all day school....woohoo.  A tip to anyone who plans on kids or plans on more kids....put 10 years between each one.  Don't do this every three years crap because as soon as you send one off to pre-school there's a baby....doh.  Alright...I love my kids.....but that doesn't mean they can't ever go away, I don't even get to sit through a graduation without them, that's just not right.  Sigh.  I need to do dishes.  And take a shower.  Maybe the Magic Fun Fairy will come smack me upside the head soon.   Danielle and Erin brought home info about camps they can go to and I told the school counselor that I could get them to and fro if she got them into one so now they want to go to horse camp....which sounds like it may be at Silver Creek Falls....doh.  If there's not a bus from the Y maybe I'll just take the (my) kids and spend 5 days at the park lol.  What would that be?  Like 80 miles a day for 2 trips?  There must be a bus.  Ooooohhhh....maybe just go camping up there....hmmmm.  See now...there's the Magic Fun Fairy, I knew she'd be back.  I tossed that particular brochure without looking at it so I don't know, guess I'll just have to wait.      

OS - Thanks Shannon

May 26, 2008 12:10 AM

That's a video I stole off of Shannon's blog, thanks Shannon.  It's a good one lol.  I'll have to look and see if I can find a video of my Give a damn's busted, cause that's a good one too.  After 17 years of domineering, unpleasant men I can truly say I really like who I am, I always have but not been quite as secure with myself as I am now.  I wouldn't trade 37 for 23 anyday, ever.  The problem is that the more you stand up for yourself the more shallow and grasping the ....oh let's just say abuser, gets until the silliness of it all just gets ridiculous.......then you say on your way dude.......and back they come.  Shoo, go......leemee alone.    
Look what I found!

OS - Starting to have too much fun

Starting to have too much fun......
Posted Date: : May 26, 2008 12:16 AM
......I need to get to bed.  That's what I need to do.  I just got all caught up posting pics of my food stash, just as it was, no straitening or clearing the nude as it were.  Now can someone explain what is so wrong with what I have?  Why is it worthy of divorcing or killing yourself over?  I don't get it myself but it's one of the many points of contention over here.  On one hand I'm to spend less but on the other I'm supposed to pay full price for everything. does that work?  I am puzzled, I need an Oh Great One to lead me.  I looked at my pics....I think the house is very cute, not white trashy at all, I look at all the stuff we've done (I've done because I do everything) that he who mustn't be mentioned has no part in by his own choice.  I really get to thinking "how dare he?", how dare he try and bring me down.  The things he attacks are so ludicrous, like the food in the freezer.  huh?  And the white trashiness of me....alrighty.  I do have the offer of guidance from the white trash that came before me though, lmao.....thanks Oh Great White Trashiness, I'll be a good follower.    Crikey, I need to get to bed. 

OS - Moving

Posted Date: : May 25, 2008 4:14 PM
So the one who must not be mentioned is moving out on the first.  Again.  I wish he would get on with it because the idle threats get old.  One of these times I'll just get him a place and move him out myself and tell him to enjoy.  I realize that Myspace blogs are not the place for all this, I just don't care.  There's power in silence and I don't feel like being silent.  I would go to counseling with him but he says he doesn't need it.  He's a nice guy.  Yeah and ask Lacey Peterson what her hubby was like.  People have told me how he speaks so well of this the same person who can't come up with one positive attribute of mine?  The person of the white trash tirade?  I am the Queen of white trash, the trashiest of the white trash, and if you drive down our street our house is the most white trash house on the street.  Um ok.......what are we?  Like 13?  And just to throw it out there......if you don't want me to repeat it, DON'T SAY IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!  After almost 8 years of this I am just sick of it, going all the way back to I should tie a mattress on my back and hang out on Portland road.  Um why?  Of course I was stupid enough to ignore that one and stick around for all the karma works.  I do love Karma though, it gives you control.  I wonder what the celestial reward or come back is for airing your dirty laundry on Myspace?  I hope it's freedom.  Funnily enough I just flipped to my mail and read's karmic I think.
She'd been taught 'housework is a woman's
> job,' but one evening, Jenny
> arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one
> load of laundry
> in
> the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the
> stove, and the
> table
> set. She was astonished!
> Turned out that Ralph had read an article that said,
> 'Wives who work
> full-time and then had to do their own housework were too
> tired to have
> sex'.
> The night went very well. The next day, she told her office
> friends all
> about it. 'We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up
> the kitchen. He
> helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry
> and put it
> away.
> I really enjoyed the evening.'
> 'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.
> 'Oh, that .., Ralph was too tired...'
> God is good.

So I don't work full time and am not too tired but that's good.  I just don't want to battle what can be found online, not because I'll never compare, but because why would I want to?  Anyway, anyone who hates me as much as it's been professed that they do, they can just move on out because I didn't make you the way you are.  Ooops...excuse me....I didn't make them the way they are.  It wasn't me.

OS - Carolee wants pie

Carolee wants pie
Posted Date: : May 20, 2008 9:15 AM
If I hear from her I'll bring her some, if not the boys decided they liked it lol, even though it's a bit "sour"'s not, it's rhubarby.  Halli came over yesterday and stayed for over 2 hours before I sent her home.  I figured her mom probably wondered where she was, maybe.  I called her cell and left a message, and just called 2 more times with no answer.  Her mom finally called right after I sent Halli on her way and didn't seem bothered by the fact that her 8 year old was somewhere for 2 hours.  I think I'm gaining another one. Too bad none of them like rhubarb.   I heard a good line that explains some things foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.........doesn't that fit many....things?  Seems like they could pull their foot out of the grave, toss the banana peel in and go on their way. 
Why do people who are so unhappy with their life stick with it?  Why don't they go off to what will make them happy?  I personally feel like I could fly, I could touch the sky......., so what's with people who never reach happy, at best they get to a level of not unhappy.  If they don't want to be happy then they shouldn't poison other people around them, go on your way, it's a free world and it will keep turning no matter what you do.  Right?  But then I think the meaning/point of life is to be happy....I didn't even have to sit on a mountain top for months for it to come to me, it just did one day.  If everyone was happy they wouldn't be doing bad things.  Right?  Because happy people don't do bad things.  So dammit, be happy.  

OS - Is the sink fixed?

 Is the sink fixed?
Posted Date: : May 19, 2008 9:10 AM
I don't know.  There are parts lying around on the counter, floor and in the cupboard .........both old and new, there's a bucket of crap/dirt on the floor, there are tools lying around and trash strewn here and there.  The clincher on my not being sure is the soaking wet towels in the cabinet under the sink.  Are we trying to rot the cupboards or are they there for a reason?  Like a drip or something?  I asked Anna and her eyes got real big and she said "I don't know but please don't ask".  Good advice, it's none of my business after all.....who knows, I may fall against a coffee table or something if I do.  I guess I can bag it all up, except the dirt and wet towels, and label it "debris from sink" and save it in case it's not to be tossed or is needed because the job isn't quite done. 
I've got Erin this morning because she doesn't feel good, more like just exhausted.  So I told her she could hang out til I go get the boys and see how she feels.  So she ate and slept for an hour and a half and is now watching Sesame Street.  It seems that when their dad watches them he likes to wake them up in the middle of the night to watch, strange.  No wonder they are always begging to spend the night, they are warm, in a bed and not getting woken up.  Makes sense I guess. 
I think I'll make burgers for lunch.....with the roasted garlic bread......or maybe the jalapeno polenta bread and put pepper jack cheese on it.  With rhubarb  pie for dessert.  I have to eat a lot of pie, I think I'll be the only taker on it even though it's stunningly delicious.  I have 2 of them.  They were/are beautiful.  
  Well, Erin fell back asleep.  Poor thing.

OS - Avoiding the pit and life is good, though the pit don’t think so

Avoiding the pit and life is good, though the pit don’t think so
Posted Date: : May 15, 2008 9:34 AM
So it's tomorrow and supposed to reach 88 or 90 or something today but it feels like it's going to rain instead.  Not much going on today but since the one who must not be mentioned isn't talking to me again, I've once again become devil spawn I guess, so I will blog.  I was sitting here trying to figure out how to get proof of insurance so I could release Dingus from the crushing expense of insuring the girlies when the small child of  a week agos front porch sitting knocks on my door.   Now mind you it's 9:15 and school started at 8:30, so I ask why she's so late (this girl lives about a mile from school) and she says her alarm didn't go off so I say well tell your Mom to drag your hiney out of bed.  Anyway I drove her to school and it turns out her mom was at work, so this 2nd grader is supposed to get herself up and to school on time by herself.  Here's this little girl going into strangers houses and getting rides by someone Mom probably has no clue exists, it seems wrong.  So what are we supposed to say or do when she's 14 and out of control?  Tell her that now she's old enough to get into or cause trouble she needs to start "being responsible"?  I have a feeling it's going to more along the lines of anger, rebellion and "now you want to tell me what to do?  I don't think so".  Oh well, build more facilities.     
We went out to Ken's and he gave me some rhubarb so today I need to make some pies and probably a cake.  Or maybe just trick the kids into taking a bite raw........nah, too evil.  OMG....I am devil spawn!!!!  I wonder how long the pit will last this time?  It's been about a week so far, I can handle about 5 days then I start becoming .......duh duh duh duuuuhhhh......BITCHY MOM.....then I say oh screw this, the pit can fester but we're not going to.  Then we all move on and eventually the pit rejoins the land of the functional again and off we go til next time.  I want another tattoo.  I'm thinking of the mermaid in my Myspace pic down on my ankle.  Ooooh the sun is coming out.  dangit.

OS - Questions and a biy of kvetching

Questions and a bit of kvetching
Posted Date: : May 13, 2008 9:07 AM
OK, myspace apps.  What are they?  Are they just another form of spam?  Are real people sending these things out?   My computer is too messed up to be trying to figure out how much some one thinks I'm worth as a pet.  Yes I've clicked on the things, under duress, to see what they were.  All I get is a page that says this app wasn't created by Myspace and hey get it for youself.  Why?  I can't see what they are, why do I want it?  Why do I want a glitter box?  What's in it for me?  I get a comment or email saying I sent you a glitter box (or comment, or you bought me, or lord knows what else) and that I should click here to see it, I think I should see it.  Don't you?  So, why would I get my own glitter box when I just see it as a spam ploy to get you somewhere you don't want to be?   
Isaac is home from school again with  pink eye and he's  been working on his home work.  One of the questions was if you could teach people anything what would it be?  Know what he would teach the world?  I'm not sure if he's a good little politician or a mobster.  But my boy would teach the world to "PAY YOU'RE TAXES OR I'LL WHACK YOUR BACK".  Nice.
Anyway, here goes the kvetching.  Why do people not get basic common courtesy?    Why do they think you live only for their convenience?  Ok that may be a little overboard but really.  If you watch someone's kid don't they have the obligation to keep you informed?  I feel like I need to be where I say I'll be when I say I'll be there if I'm going to watch someone's kid.  So wouldn't it follow that if you say you'll drop your kid off at a certain time that you would expect me to be there?  It works the other way too.....if you say you'll need me at 7-ish to 9-ish, then show up at 7-ish, or call, or something.  Don't show up at 9-ish and expect me to drop everything for the rest of my day.  Also don't line me up for a weeks babysitting, then have an uncle visit and just blank out on the fact that I've arranged my life based on when your kid is supposed to be here......and don't be surprised after the 3rd day of no show no call that I decide to go to the beach and just may not be there when you are supposed to drop off your child.  So, as you may have guessed.....there has been an big deal really just "hello....get with it people".  First Danielle and Erin didn't come this morning, I figured they might not because their Grandfather was visiting, but since Mom didn't feel the need to let me know I get up at 6 instead of 7 to be ready when they get here.  Now I get to wonder, are they coming after school?  Usually when they don't come in the morning they don't come after school but since mom didn't deem it important enough to let me in on it I don't know.  Remember what I said about planning my life around when other people's kids will be over?  Well today immediately after school I have to get Katie to the high school for Jaycee relay practice.  So do I wait around for Danielle and Erin or do I just assume they aren't coming and go as soon as Katie comes home?  How long do I wait?  I don't want to be made into a flaky parent who can't get their kids where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to because other people can't get it together.  Yes I could call and say hey what's up?  I could, but I'm like why should I do the tracking down and more or less apologizing when I'm the one doing the favor.  Which I am, I guess I need to get over the "yeah I can do that" thing and say "sure, $5 an hour, bring your own food because your kid is picky, I charge for no shows, ect".  Problem is I don't really mind doing this stuff, I'll pick bugs out of your kids hair, go pick them up, drop them off, feed them, talk to them, help them with homework...whatever, really I don't mind.  BUT.......I'm not a servant....I do need to know when you will be dropping off your little progeny, it's just kind of a duh thing.  Oh girl didn't show up either, no biggie except I spend a good 15 minutes looking out the window and change my morning schedule around and then.......nothing.  Argh and phbbbllltttttt.

OS - Practical vs " Nice"

 practical VS "nice"?
Posted Date: : May 6, 2008 9:11 AM
I have a question.  How many favors should you do for someone when all they do is complain about it?  Because I'm borderline "Ok, so you want to complain?".  I'm not mentioning names because anyone who knows what I'm talking about knows who I'm talking about.  So through niceness I've reduced child support about $45,000 through the course of it all, taken a $2,500 value and given a $7,500 in exchange,  and more or less forgotten about another $30,000 owed.  So why is this person complaining to me?  huh?  Doesn't he realize how easy it would be to fill out the paperwork and change things?  A lot.  I guess not. 
OK, enough about dorkbutt.  I got home from school this morning and there was a small child sitting on my doorstep.....I said "hello small child why aren't you at school?", and the small child said "I'm waiting for you", and I said "but I was  at school".  Then I loaded her into the car and took her to school.  Oh yeah, we have another van now.  It's just like the old one but nicer in general.  Isaac broke the neighbors van window so we bought it.  It also happened that the neighbor was planning on selling it and it was a really good I'm another car away from not having one.  Se la vie.  But I can drive delinquent small children to school when I find them now I guess.  Let's see....what else?  My out-of-the-Army brother got called back and has to go back over....he's overjoyed....not.  Oh oh oh!!!!!!  I cleaned out the garage!!!!!!  The boys sat out there and played yesterday they were so amazed. 
I have another question.  Why do people waste their time playing games?  I don't have any being played on me at the moment but there are so many people and situations where you just want to say grow up and get it done.  It's silly to see supposed adults not talking to certain people, not answering the phone, saying this that and the other thing about this that and the other person, grow up, take care of your business and get on with your life.  LMAO...makes me sit back and say "golly I'm glad I'm me".  Nothing wrong with a little self love.  Is there?  Which is another question.  

OS - I'm Fat

 I’m fat.
Posted Date: : Apr 22, 2008 10:45 AM
I've decided that I'm fat, I do that from time to time and it really doesn't mean anything.  So a couple days ago I decided I was and last night I said "ok, I'll weigh myself", I did.  Geesh.....212 glorious pounds of me.  I usually would just say, hey I'm twice the woman of some skinny person....right?  But since I do want to live to be 100 though I guess I'd better get on it and just do it, only problem is every time I do I get knocked's like a pre-programmed deal.....lose 30 gain a child or 2.  So once again I begin my tried and true excursion into weight loss, 150 would be thrilling, 170 would be reasonable, so wish me luck I am off.

OS - Butterflies

Posted Date: : Apr 22, 2008 9:21 AM
Do you think butterflies were originally called flutterbys?  Because now people sometimes accidentally call them flutterbys but it really makes more sense than butterflies.  Butter doesn't fly.  So if they were really called flutterbys and people accidentally called them butterflies enough maybe they thought it was funny to think of butter flying and the name just sort of morphed over time?    But what they really do is .......flutter by.

OS - What do you get when......?

What do you get when.......?
Posted Date: : Apr 4, 2008 11:40 AM
What do you get when you take a schploot of grapeseed oil, a quarter onion, a clove of garlic, a cup or so of yesterdays leftover bean and corn combo, a can of spicy V-8, a schplot of salsa, and a handful of frozen grape tomatoes?  Top that with shredded pepper jack, sour cream and a little tub of leftover Muchas hot sauce?  Some of you might think you get pure YUM, some of you might think you get cooties but you’d all be wrong.     I’ll tell you what you get.  YOU STILL GET TO MAKE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICHES!!!!!  That’s what you get.

OS - We snowed....we had fun

 Posted Date: : Apr 4, 2008 9:55 AM
When does it snow in Oregon, at the coast in March?  WHEN THE CALVOS GO CAMPING !?!?!?!?!?!  Of course.  When else?  We had fun, the kids wanted to stay longer but real life called and for some reason needed us back.  So we returned from the wilds of Seaside.  Sigh.  I think I will now totally indulge my chatty instincts  and do a play by play.  Hee.

We got there about 4 pm, checked in (FREE!!!!!!  WHEEEEE!!!!!!!) and set up the tent WITH NO ARGUMENTS!!!!!!!!!  As it was a new tent we needed to figure it out and as the directions made no sense we did the logical thing and just put it together.  Blew up the NEW air mattress (way too old to sleep on the ground very long.....  my hip still hurt anyway but the Unmentionable One  fixed it, he really should be a chiropractor).  Anyway, by then it was raining nicely, it started raining at the cheese factory, just like last year, so we went out to dinner (this is rugged camping).  We ended up at the Pig n Pancake because the kids never got over not being able to go last year.  After stuffing our selves we went back to camp and went to bed.  We were all up by 3 am lol, and gave up on sleeping at 5 am and headed to McDonalds for coffee....yeah I know they don’t    open til 6 am.   That was a long, cold, wet night.  We ended up with Isaac and Katie in between us.  Needless to say, the Unmentionable One said "No way are we doing that again tonight...we must procure a heater  from the nearest village".  Enter Wednesday.
After the early morning hang over from the Tuesday Night O Hell, we went back to camp, got ourselves together and went in search of a heater.  Do you know how hard that is to do?  It’s like trying to find a swimsuit in August.  So, Costco, Fred Meyer, Rite-Aid, a building supply store and a donut shop later all we’ve come up with is a heat lamp.  Good in theory, not so good in actuality, so after our cold nap the Unmentionable One says "this will just not do".  It wasn’t a total loss though because while we were in Astoria we got to see the snow start and it was blizzard-iffic.  Like the totally cool flakes the size of dinner plates stuff.  We were in the donut store, actually a Franz bread outlet, but we were looking for donuts, and they  didn’t have the ones I wanted, old fashioned glazed btw, and I was talking to myself as I often do, and to anyone standing near me for that matter, and the lady working there goes off and comes back from the back room with a box of FRESH OLD-FASHIONED GLAZED DONUTS!!!!!!  Was that not the sweetest thing?  Not only did she go look for more, she sold them to me for the stale donut price....golly shucks, there are still nice folk out there.  Anyway where was I?  Oh yeah, So we gave up on the heater thing but later on when we were going to the laundomat with all the damp bedding we decided to stop in at the Seaside Rite-Aid just to see and lo and behold they had a WHOLE SHELF of little heater fan things and forever more we were toasty warm at night.  Bliss.
I believe Thursday was Seaside day, we went to the Aquarium and wandered around a bit.  The kids spent their money and I bought Tiffany some useless beach souveneir-age.  Oh we happened upon another nice person, we were in the Island Treasures store and the boys were digging through the pretty rock box and I told them they only had $1.50 left and a bag was $4.99 and they were heart broken, so I went and asked the lady if they could buy just one rock and she said they were .50 each so I told the boys.  And the boys were stoked.  So they dug around and Isaac found a big yellow one that looked like a treasure map and Jake found 2 smaller ones.  At the cash register the lady said Jake could have his 2 for .50 because they were so small.....awwwwww.  See there are nice people.  So, anyway....back to camp.
On friday we all over powered the Unmentionable One and made a trip to Fort Clatsop.  It was yucky and raining so we watched the Lewis and Clark movie again and checked out the museumy area for a bit and decided to venture out to the fort, rainy.  Back to the visitor center for a bit then out to the canoe place and Jake decided it would be nice to walk to the Netul Landing a mile down the way, it wasn’t raining at that moment so hey, off we go.  Luckily we hardly got rained on, did you know you don’t get near so wet when you get hailed on?
Later on we went to see Horton Hears a Who, it was cute and I picked up a cute phrase "in my world they eat rainbows  and poop butterflies".  Then back for another warm toasty night.
Pack up time.  It’s raining.  The tent is still wet as I type.  And boy oh boy you should have seen the van lmao, actually you can if you want after I post pics, lol.  But right now I need to go get the boys, Tata. 

OS - Where did the whiskers go

 Where did the whiskers go?
Posted Date: : Apr 4, 2008 9:16 AM
I’m happy they’re gone, but where did they go?  For the past 10 years at least I have had this little whisker spot on my cheek (facial)  and there’s always some stage of little hair in development going on. A few months ago I began another one of my food-as-medicine ventures working towards another goal and  maybe the side effect was loss of facial hair?  That would be cool, when I was 14 or so I was standing in the bathroom with my mom and she leaned forward, pulled her glasses down to her nasal tip and peered at me.  Know what she said?  She said "you’re going to be a hairy old woman".   I said "thanks".  Remember parents, becareful what you say lol, you may be remembered   decades for it.  Like the time my dad was commenting on the well-proportioned aspect of all us kids........even Jennie.  Now as I sat there listening I’m thinking huh, even me?  What’s that mean?  Why would I be unproportionate?  I’d never really even thought such things before lol.  It’s not my fault my  sister’s so dang flat.  I, er ......non-existent?  Well anyway, whatever she is, Katie asked her one time why she didn’t have any boobs.    Point being, those comments stick lol.  Oh, and I have embraced both my boobs and my facial hair.   

OS - Happy Easter

Happy Easter
Posted Date: : Mar 23, 2008 12:49 AM
Back at everyone who left an Easter comment and thank you, I’m just too lazy to comment search right now.  Which is strange considering I’m just sitting around waiting to make dinner.  Actually dinner is made, I just have to figure out how to get a ham, potatoes, and broccoli casserole in the oven all at once.  Dang small oven.  My parents and half of my sibling group are up in Seattle this year and Joe’s parents are up in Washington too this year so we’re doing our own thing this year.  At least me and the kids are lol.  It’s kind of nice, no running every where all day....but then I’m bored with waiting.  Some people are never happy.  Claudia is supposed to stop by this afternoon before work.......hmmmm....I guess I have nothing to say.....except we’re going camping!!!    

OS - Funny

Posted Date: : Mar 14, 2008   
I was going down to Northern lightsast night and as I got there this song came on, I don’t know if I can put videos in blogs but if it works there it is, if not it’s on my page.  It just made me go wow lol, when did she meet.....NM.  The first part is quite touching, especially the part about hungry, horny, or wanting something cleaned.
I saw I Am Legend last night, once again wasting a chicken nacho opportunity by eating with the girls first, dangit.  Good movie in a strange hell-houndish sort of way, it made me envious of this guy with access to all those cool apartments, I’d be going on real estate tours if that was me.  Next time I WILL BE HUNGRY and I will get chicken nachos. 
Isaac came up to me this morning and said he needed a potato.  I of course asked why, since I’d seen no notice about potato projects coming up and didn’t know what shape the potatoe should be in (I have various stages, from hashbrown worthy to ready to plant).  I asked, are you planting them?  And he rolled his eyes, sighed and said "’s for a math project", I asked how he knew this because again I don’t usually miss those notes.  So he goes down to his room, comes back with a yellow paper and says "see, I need a potato for a math project and I can bring an extra for someone else".  So not only do I have a kindergartener that can read better than my 12 year old, but he can take care of his own business.......somebody pick me off the floor please.   Wow.  Then there’s the one who had a fit because I wouldn’t place his/her breakfast into his/her  hand  and insisted it was too heavy for him/her to pick up.  I’ll just have to be knocking that little streak of man/woman tyranny out of him/her before he/she goes on to makes some poor woman miserable.  There are no Grand Poo-bahs anymore. 
I’m trying to figure out Easter.  It’s a weird holiday.  It hasn’t been totally whacked out with commercialism yet and if you don’t go to church it seems kind of hypocritical to celebrate it but then going to church seems kind of hypocritical so where do the bunnies come in?  Maybe we’ll just go to church to lay claim to the right to celebrate, but I just end up sitting there thinking that I really don’t think that God would approve.  My parents and half of my siblings are going to be in Seattle, Randy has no plans for the girls, and I don’t know what’s going on with Joe’s family.  I guess I just do what I would do if it were me and the kids and be ready to stick it in the freezer if someone gets involved at the last minute.  Or I be a bitch and say sorry, we have plans.  Golly, camping in 11 days.

OS - It's dead

It’s dead
Posted Date: : Mar 12, 2008 9:18 AM
It’s not coming back.  I am sad.  Why did the boy have to mess with my camera?  I love my camera.  I tried last night to take pictures of dinner for Carolee but it didn’t work, just black.  Now I’m trying all the methods of digital crap repair.  I threw it around a bit and now I will let it sit and ignore it for a month or so then I’ll see if it works.  I lust for the days when you could buy something and actually HAVE a few years later.  Why do I want to buy a phone that will be breaking in a couple years?  I don’t, that’s why I’m prepared.  My parents bought a new, high tech piece of junk phone with 4 handsets so they gathered up all their others and now I have them, muahahaha.  In there was a of those corded dealies I think was my dad’s office phone when I was growing up, if my camera decides to work again I’ll take a pic.  Now I just need to find an old answering machine, one of those ones with a cassette tape and I’m ready for the digital crap out that I know is coming.  You may be thinking I’m crazy but I’m not, maybe just a bit, but my brother has told me if I decide I don’t want it to give it to him.  I guess that could just mean that crazy runs in families I guess.  I just don’t like being at the mercy of some company that is perfectly able to make a good product but wants you to go buy another one as soon as possible, it’s manipulation.  ......and so unable to bitch about what really matters, she bitches about electronics...............though she really is saddened by the death, unneccesary  as  it was, of her camera. 
I have two conferences for Anna today, 3:30 and 8:30, fun.  Speech and general, I want to get her out of speech I think she’s run her course there.  Dammit....Nursery just called, only 2 people showed up.  Why are people so unreliable?  Why can’t they just get it together?  Someday I’m just going to say screw it all take care of yourself.  Okay, excuse my language, I’m off to take care of little darlings.   

OS - Having it all

 Having it all
Posted Date: : Mar 11, 2008 9:51 AM
a family
healthy kids
happy kids
2 nice doggies
owning your home
2 vehicles
living in a beautiful area
college educated
good credit
and Lord knows what else

I'd call that having it all.  Why would anyone want to throw it all away?  Blows my mind, but if someone wanted to I would hope they would get on with it already. 

OS - I want 14 billion dollars

 I want 14 billion dollars
Posted Date: : Mar 9, 2008 11:50 PM
Yes, 14 billion.....and I don't want anyone to know about it.  I want it in a box in my room.  Joe says I can't do that because if I have 14 billion dollars I would have to own businesses and stuff but he's a Nelly and I think I could do it if I really tried.  Somehow.   If I had 14 billion dollars I would get rid of my car, put solar panels on my roof, remodel the house, pay off my ex (who doesn't seem to realize what a deal he's got......dingbat),  I'd get Stan fixed, and buy 10 cases of toilet paper.  Then I'd just start mailing it out, the money not the toilet paper, because 14 billion has got to be a big space taker and I'd probably get tired of having it around and having to climb over it all the time.   Oh, and I'd have Tiffany come over for spring break because we're going to the cheese factory again and I hear she wants to go to the cheese factory.  Even though it's rather cheesy. 
I made reservations for us to go camping again Spring Break.  We got wet last time and had to sleep in the van but we had a jolly good time and the kids wanted to do it again so we peel out of here on spring break monday and roll back in on friday.   I'm looking forward to it, I like cooking on fire even though I'm a lame fire builder, it was very wet though so maybe it wasn't all my abilities.  I need to get a huge tarp because, as we learned last time, our tent isn't waterproof.  Nope, not at all.  I love it though so it stays.  It's the one my parents bought in 1979 for our move out here from Michigan and I felt so honored when they unloaded it on me a few years ago.....even though the ties and loops are virtually rotting off.....lmao.  Good times, good times.  I would replace the thing, I'm not totally unreasonable, but the new one has to be perfect, so until the perfect tent is found big green and ugly stays.
Hmmmm....let's see....Jake managed to break my camera somewhat, I think it may still take pics, there's just no action on the little screen.  That has put a crimp in my fascination with photographing my meals.  Which may be a good thing because that is a little strange.   I've gotten two people now to admit that I make the best dang burgers imagineable, my Mom and Joe.  That may not sound impressive but they are both critical burger haters so I'm all "ha ha...told ya so".  Yeah, I have no life. 
I guess I should go to bed huh?  Those two will be heading this way in about 6 hours and I hate to be mumbling about coffee when they get here.  I also need to see if I can get through then next two weeks without uttering those fateful words....."hey....why don't you ask your mom if you can come camping with us?"  I know they are just waiting and would love to come with us, but no....think of your sanity.....but they're just two more.......SANITY..........but, but, but.....NO....but they'd love it............I'm going to go read.  Maybe I'll find another book, I've read this one too many times and it's so old the pages are all loose......nah, I'll keep on it and see if I can figure out why Gatsby doesn't see that Daisy just a flake.  Night.        

OS - Aack

Posted Date: : Mar 5, 2008 8:29 PM
     You know those days when you just want to be alone?  I do.  Unfortunately days alone are very rare.  It would seem logical to give the house servant a day off every  three to four months.  I guess logic is not the prevailing force in the world.  I could go down to Northern Lights but that's not really alone and I'd have to go somewhere.  And I don't want to.  What was the drug of choice amongst 50's housewives?  And did it work?  And where can I get some?  Maybe I will go to a movie.  Nah...not worth the repercussions.  Well, since there's a gazillion things I can't say on here I guess I'll go.  Bye.

OS - OMG I don't want to see another mackeral for a looong time

  OMG I don’t want to see another Mackerel for a looooong time
Posted Date: : Feb 27, 2008 8:17 PM
I did it, I processed (almost) all of the little fishies.  There were 16 plastic grocery bags of them, I got my Mom to take 2 of them, I helped Joe pickle 3 of them, and I tailed, headed and detail cleaned 11 bags of them, then cooked them and am working on boning them and figuring out what to do with them.  I have mackerel cooked in tomato  sauce like the canned ones, baked mackerel to be frozen I guess, and mackerel pate, then the pickled gallon and a half.  I also made a triple batch of banana bread.  Reminder for the future, don't empty a freezer all at once.  I found some more butter and butter milk from the cream bonanza of awhile ago so tomorrow I'll be baking buttermilk needing stuff.
Oh, I did the cat thing today.......omg what happened to the days of the $35 dollar spay?  Now you need a pre-appointment (36.50) to see "if the animal is healthy enough for the operation".  Uh huh, I think it was to pay for the remodel because a few years ago you could just bring them in and get it done, I mean come on the cat is 6 months old what can be wrong with her.  So I paid 36.50 for a lady to take the cats temp and look in her ears, but it must have been a magic look because from that she could tell the cat was healthy enough.  They start the run down of options, and I'm all uh huh, uh huh, then I start being all "how much is that?" and then "it's a cat".  So in addition to the 49.95  for the basic operation, there's something for 66.50 that will make it easier to save her if there's a problem, 32.50 for something else, and 22.50 for pain medication.  They didn't even get to the take home medication options lol.  Since I managed to wrangle a $15 certificate from the Humane Society I did spring for the pain medication, don't tell Joe, but I figured it wouldn't hurt for her to be groggy for a while.  They told me I had to be on welfare of some sort to get one and I told them I probably could go get on some program if I wanted to but thought that a bad reason to get government assistance so they let me have one, muahahaha.  Does it make sense that all these things like reduced spaying and soccer go by if you get government assitance?  Wouldn't it make more sense to go by actual income so that people who don't want to be overtaken by the looming society of socialism and are trying on their own can afford some of the extra stuff they may not otherwise?  Or just not have their cat pro-creating all over the place?  It just doesn't seem right that if they are going to offer discounts for the lower incomed among us that they have to be on welfare, seems like the lower incomed not on welfare deserve it more. 
Well, since Joe's bowling I guess I'd better feed the kids dangit, I was going to get him to do it since I don't want to look at another fish for a bit.  Luckily I remembered I have mondays  leftovers in the fridge, woohoo.

OS - Freezer

Posted Date: : Feb 27, 2008 10:14 AM
Okay, so I Freecycled the old bad feelings towards it just practicality.  I bought the upright last spring because I wanted an upright and hey, he joined the Army which I believe allows wife to buy appliances if they want.  I'm pretty sure I heard that at one of the meetings.  Or maybe it was something else...hmmmmmm.   Well, regardless I bought an upright, not a fancy one just a basic deal and I love it but I have been saying for a year now that I am getting  rid of the old one as soon as I get around to emptying it out.  Which I didn't do but I posted it on Freecycle and someone wanted it so I dumped it out and viola, I have space.  Which is another matter, can one who DOESN'T have to go into the garage with laundry baskets or ever complain about the one who has to deal with it?  I don't think so, but anyway, I did screw up just a tiny bit.  I forgot about the 500 or so Mackerel we caught last summer that were in there so now I do have a slight issue but I'll figure it out lol. 
My reasons for ditching the freezer are 1.)  I don't care for the cavern of chest freezer, there's always something down there you can't find, 2.)  we don't need 2 freezers  3.)  if we are possibly going to have Tiffany ever stay with us we need to start figuring out space and it's silly to have stuff we don't need making us all squished  4.)  I guess we could have turned it into a bed but that's just silly  5.)  I don't value myself on how many appliances we own, it's not an indicator of wealth to have 2 freezers  6.)  now the fish will get used and not just freezer burn into obscurity can you freezer cooked fish?  7.)  I gotta go cat appointment (scam).
Now see Joe, I didn't mention you once, nope, I didn't.

OS - Confessions

Posted Date: : Feb 25, 2008 10:27 AM
I have a confession to make, I'm sure I'll come up with more as I go so I titled it "confessions" in advance.  The big one is I like to sing Fiddler on the Roof songs.  Loudly and obnoxiously, usually in the car, especially Tevya's dream song.  A blessing on your head, mazel Tov (sp?) mazel tov, like poor old grandma said mazel tov mazel tov.....such a son-in-law, like no one ever saw, the tailor Matel Komzoil (sp?).......the tailor? There's no tailor, she meant the butcher...Lazer Wolf.  You must have heard wrong grandma there's no tailor, you mean the butcher grandma by the name of Lazer no no I mean the little Zietel who was named for me get the picture.  I also get the urge to sing When You're a Jet when I walk with a bunch of kids. 

Ok, that may just be my only confession.  Um....I save food.  I don't always flush, but that's just common sense I think.  There's nothing really gross about pee and if everyone saved a flush a day that's about 600 million gallons of water a day right?   I also figure it takes the guilt off of watering the front yard in the summer.   Oh...I like spam.  I guess that's about dull.....but my soul feels lighter.  Uh huh. 

OS - I want to be a documentarian

 I want to be a documentarian
Posted Date: : Feb 15, 2008 11:32 AM
I made a documentary on the life of chicken pho......I titled it The Life of Chicken Pho but due to technical difficulties it's still in my pics and not a mighty professional Myspace slideshow.  If you really want to know the life of chicken pho go check it out.  I feel that I have created an insightful, evocative glimpse into what it really means to be a bowl of pho, or as I like to say in my head....a "bo oh pho",  a masterpiece really and if I can ever get it into slideshow format I wouldn't be surprised if it were worthy of a Grammy, or maybe even a Heisman.  Until then though I guess it's just this life of grinding normalcy, though I can't complain.....I like my life I would just like to win the lottery so I can sell my car because face it, I'm never gonna take the train to Seattle if I have a car. 
Let's see, yesterday was Valentines day and we did what we always do, I gave the kids cards with dorky poetry and waited around to see if someone was going to pull their head out this year........nope.  But that's ok because I bought myself some luxury cheese because as Kathleen Turner says "Buy yourself Roses", so I did.  I walked down to Lifesource after I dropped the boys at school, defying constructions workers along the way, told them they were silly and it was more dangerous for me to run across commercial  street and back just because they closed the sidewalk than it was for me to walk by their truck, what do they need 15 feet of clearance for anyway?  Well, they laughed and said they'd let it slide this time......yeah buddy you'll let it slide next time too.  Dagnabit.  I gotta go get the boys.  Bye.   

OS - 3am phone calls

3 am phone calls
Posted Date: : Feb 11, 2008 10:52 AM
So you're sleeping.  You went to bed a bit later than you should have, say this point in your life you've figured out that a good nights sleep is a good thing, you read a bit and doze off  the drone of the cargo ship next to you.  You're happy, you're warm....all is good.  The phone shouldn't be ringing.  Not unless you're dying, having a baby.......then at that moment not just some time in the future, or are stuck on the highway and need a ride.   When the phone does ring at 3 am you know what's going through my mind?  Right after why am I standing in the bathroom with the phone is "god it can't be 5:30 yet, nope it's just 3, geesh Phyllis is calling early", followed by "Anna, it must be Anna, she spent the night at a friends house, wait.....what day is it?  No Anna's home?  Isn't she?  Yeah, was Sunday last night....Monday in the morning.  Ok....not Anna."  So who is it calling at 3 am lmao.  "Ohhhhh.......hi..........uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh."  Some conversation followed by  a request for me to wake up Joe.  Um....yeah.  I do remember saying no and "that would be very very rude dontchya think?".  Fast forward about an hour and twenty minutes of lying in bed attempt get back to sleep and deciding screw it, it ain't happening.  So up I get and am heading to the can when lo and behold.....the phone rings......twice.......and nobodys there.  Sigh.  I head out into the kitchen and Joe's cell phone rings briefly, nobody there.  Now why there is such a dogged attempt to wake a grouchy man out of a deep sleep at what is now 4:30 am I don't know.  Anyway......a minute down the road the cell rings again, and this time I just brought it to Joe lol.  Give a sleeping person with a C-PAP machine his ringing cell at 4:30 am's fun...uh huh.  On top of the phone fun, Phyllis never did bother to call and say the girls weren't coming so my alarm went off at 6 as usual when I could have changed it to 7.....sigh.  Sigh.  Maybe tonight I'll give someone a call and ask them to wake up their Mom or something........nah......let the poor people sleep.

OS - Se la vie

Se la vie
Posted Date: : Feb 8, 2008 1:13 AM
I saw the funniest thing on the way to the movie last night, this youngish guy….hooded sweatshirt (are they "hoodies" when guys wear them?), slouchy jeans, hands in pocket…..walking down the street in the rain surrounded by four unleashed perfectly groomed white puffball mini poodles.  These dogs weren't just walking along sedately but bouncing around the guy and each other like little circus dogs, I looked around for a mini car but there wasn't one unfortunately.  Oh well, it was funny.  I went and saw Into the Wild which was very good by the way…….makes you want to run off to Alaska.  Or join a nudist colony, one or the other.  I was stupid and ate spaghetti with the kids so I wasn't hungry and didn't get to get the chicken nachos but I did try their deserts, marian berry pie ala mode……eh, it was good enough but nothing like the chicken nachos.  I'm more of a savory kind of gal. 

The boys 6th birthday is coming up and while I've burnt out on the full class parties by now, not to mention with 2 boys and 2 classes that would mean 42 kids, I think I'll run with the good old fashioned at-home-pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey-cupcake-and-party-hat type of thing and let them each invite 3-4 friends.  Which means invitations……oy.
I told Danielle and Erin to come over tomorrow to make Valentines with my kids because Katie was going on about how she "just couldn't wait for Valentines" and Danielle was saying she wished it was March already, which means they would be showing up with nothing to school when all their friends had Valentines.  I hate when parents do that because face it, no matter how poor you think you are a pack of cigarettes would buy a couple packs of Valentines and your kids could take part.  Besides all you really need is a pile of scrap paper, some glue, and a pen.  
It's coffee with Grandma day.  Katie's going with me.  She's doing really well with everything and clearing out her house like mad because my parents are building an addition for her to move into sometime this summer and she's all stoked about her new place.  My mom told me now was the time to add on to our house because we could get it furnished with the overload.  Dangit because my Grandma has an awesome couch and my parents an awesome red leather chair and ottoman.  Se la vie.