Sunday, June 28, 2009

I've decided I need to make another blog. One where I can write what I can't write lol. Some things just shouldn't be said until you are ready to accept the consequences of saying them if they are read by the wrong anonoblog here I come. I don't really get why it's so hard to understand...if you are embarassed enough by what you do to not want it talked about maybe, just maybe you are doing something you feel GUILTY about. Just maybe? Note to parents....don't let your kids grow up totally and absolutely spoiled. It's not a blessing to the world. It's bad. Bad. I got up in the middle of the night a couple nights ago and de-friended some people......the nasty, the tattler, high maintenance girl, and just kind of annoying to me. Because I can.....and I wanted to. The last thing I need is a reporter telling him what I do on FB.....that's why he doesn't get my stuff sent to his page....he doesn't want to know what I'm doing.....DUH!!!!!! Butt out...well don't worry anymore.....defriend lol.

I took the kids to the circus the other day....just a side note....I can leave someone alone but they damn well better figure out how to leave me alone at the same time.......anyway, circus was fun. I love circuses, especially little ones. They are so cute, the same bunch of people doing all the sweet. It kind of reminds me of a bunch of kids putting on a show. I mean that in a good way. It's sad though because they are obviously dying out. I'd imagine it costs a lot to run a circus, back from when I was allowed ads on here I learned that if you were an aerial performer you got a 2 million dollar insurance policy upon hire.....mmmmm....would make me think twice but hey, to each his own. I have this whole miraculous story about how I got in but I don't feel like telling it right now....still stewing. Oh what the heck.....I had my debit card and asked for some cash to bring just in case so was begrudgingly given a $20. Parking was $3 so I was down to $17....I'm like OK....a few years ago it was $13, even if it went up I'm ok....right? I was standing there kind of worried because I don't know how much it was and had noticed they didn't take debit. I randomly question a walking by lady about how much it was and she said she read in the paper $ I'm sh*t....go home?....find an ATM?..........ack. Then this wonderful woman says, imagine the heavenly sound here, "I have this coupon for you want to go in as a group and split it?" So I got in for $11 and so did she and we were all happy. Things always work out if you let them. Some just take a heck of a lot longer than others. Like decades. And decades.....and decades. Do you ever feel like you're waiting for someone who's never going to catch up? Just waiting. Trying not to be dragged into the world of pickles and poop. Though I like pickles....and I guess poop is good in it's own way.........just not together I guess. I want to do things, nothing exotic. I want to go to the Pentacle theatre sometime, I want to take a painting class and an upholstery class, I bought an awesome but deteriorating green leather chair and ottoman today and someday it will need a new skin, I want to go to the Salem Cinema, I want to not have to hide the trash, or things I buy, or things I give away, I want to go on a totally unplanned roadtrip some summer, actually, I want to get my kicks on Route 66. It seems like nothing can be done for enjoyment, it must all be misery inducing and I can't do that lol. I just can't sit around and tut tut about how bad life is. It isn't. Dang....I need ananoblog lol....I could be relatively safe on here but some busybody nosey so and so will say "do you know what your wife is writing?", if the busybody nosey so and sos would stay out of it there is no interest in what I write and then all the daisies would bloom and the world would be perfect.....but there will always be busybody nosey so and sos lol. They may be defriended but there is always a new one.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

It was my real birthday today and I took the kids to the beach, it was one of those perfect days, not cloudy but not sunny, not windy but a breeze, kids ran around in swim suits and spent a couple hours in the water. Isaac managed to lose a shirt and a jacket. Perfect. I was smart enough to put some sunscreen on this morning so hopefully I won't be pink tomorrow. I ended up babysitting the girls last night, tonight and tomorrow night extra, then thursday normal then they are coming with us up to Seattle saturday and sunday, then I think they're here again monday, so what's that? Goodness gracious...they may be here like 6 days straight. Criminy. Ok, I checked, no monday, but tuesday. Anyway....good thing I like them lol. They're big. They can feed and wipe themselves......both good things. Anyway....I got stopped by a cop on the way to the beach, actually just down the street from home. I was going 36 in a 25. Ooops. Sigh. He got my info including my expired proof of insurance and did his thing. While he did the kids and I had a nice conversation about being responsible and doing the right thing. Mommy messed up. Ooops again. Well, he came back gave me a warning on the speeding and the lack of real proof of insurance and said he hoped it would deter my life of crime. Oh it will. I'm going straight and narrow from here on out. Last time I got pulled over was when I was 22 or so....57 in a 25...but it was a back road, not like residential or anything, at least not really. That was a $327 dollar ticket and in the reckless category........guess what? Warning! Cops are nice....I like them. I think I need to go to bed now. Good night.

Friday, June 12, 2009's mostly out, Joe's sleeping, dinner is easy and ready at a moments notice, I'm listening to Adam Ant.....I like that guy lol. Oh and I own Alan. Life is good. I've been following doctors orders lol, I like that guy. books, write and go places? I can so totally do that. Ironically the insurance won't cover a chiropractor lol, but they will do back surgery. Such logic we run on. If I hit a $50 chiro appointment a few times a year I'm good but I guess that's too much for the insurance company to whatever. Dump this universal health care idea and how about reasonable health coverage? Give people freedom to do what they think best, put the money saved into an account, and have a catastrophic insurance policy with a decent deductible. Maybe then people would think about what they're doing, why they're doing it and MAYBE actually try to be healthier. I don't know, but I don't notice people going to the doctors and getting better, go in with diabetes and keep going in for meds and amputations til you die with diabetes. Doesn't make sense. Oh well. I had a public speaking teacher in college who said I was too harsh lol. Maybe so, but it's what I think. I love to hear what others think but it seems if you express an opinion people feel that they can't speak up with an opposing view. Yes, yes you can. Oh well. I have a birthday plan...I love my birthday, if it's left alone lol, but anyway, I'm sticking with the new found tradition of Birthday Eve and having a Slap A ( I have no idea how to spell it but it's sort of danish, may be dinglish, I'm not sure but it implies relax) buffet. It's when everybody brings super easy food, preferable bought from the store ready to eat with no cooking involved. But if someone feels it necesary they can break the rules but it kind of ruins the tone of the deal. We started doing it awhile ago because my Mom and I were talking about what a big deal it was for everyone to get together for dinner, a lot of work. The first concept was the Cost-co buffet and everything had to be from Costco but we found out we were all too cheap for that lol. So Slap A it is. Then on the next day I'm taking the kids to the beach. Maybe I will talk them into making me a sandcake. Hmmmmm.....I like sand. Except when it gets into places it shouldn't be. I don't like that. I'm gonna bring my paper and pencils and camera, and brilliantly pink bubble gum journal and a big scoop to dig a butt hole and food and weird bread products to throw at seagulls. They are so fun to throw tortillas at and frozen bagels....they never give up. Oh, it will all be delightful. Oh....I mentioned to the girls mom that if it worked for her maybe she could see about transferring the girls to Judson and they could go there more easily since they're here so much anyway and she said she had just thought of that earlier in the day but didn't know if I would be interested lol. Everything always works out if you let it. Get this.....I was at Walmart because I needed filters for my beloved floor washing machine and they dare to not carry it anymore. So I was saddish and thinking I'd have to go online and try to order from the company, pain in the butt. Then I decided to run down the clearance aisle just to see what they had, I'm going down slowly just checking things out...I did find some awesome pens and they are mine, all mine.....anyway this lady comes into the aisle with the most obnoxious child...."I want the YELLOW TRUCK, YELLOW TRUCK, YELLOW TRUCK!!!!!!!" Ect. I'm thinking heehee, not mine and decide to look back just to see this terror child and I slide my gaze back behind me slowly and what, what was that? Slide gaze forward. NO.......WAY!?!?!?!? About two feet behind me were THE FILTERS!!!!!!! Whoa. I was beyond and gone, I would not have found them if it weren't for Screechy boy......and to top it off they were $5 instead of $10. Dude. Now, nobody can convince me that horrid kid wasn't sent so that I would look back and see my filters sitting there. Sometimes I feel like I get my way much too often and I always make sure to thank the forces that be because hey, dude....what were the chances? I even told the ill mannered childs Mom about it.....the instant I found the filters he shut up by the way......oooohhhh. Life is good. I ahve children dying around me so I guess I'd better go feed them. bye.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Do you know how long it takes to count to 300? About 5 minutes. Know how I know, besides using simple math skills? I did it, yep....thought it would be relaxing. It's not. It's boring and you start counting with your breathing which slows down then you go crap I have to catch up.....very erratic way to keep track of time. I don't recommend it. On the bright side....hee I said bright and I was just going to say I felt bright. Not like smart bright but bright bright. I bought this packet of tea tree and spearmint face mask at Freddies, half off of course, needless to say it needed to stay on for five minutes, and when I took it off I actually felt bright, like I could almost see my brilliance reflecting off the bathroom walls back at me. It was cool. I'm sure I'm not really brighter but it was neat. I'm scarfing down some yogurt and granola right now because I need to go deliver towels to the girls because they have the 5th grade pool party today and forgot swimsuits and towels, then Danielle called from school and said she left her borrowed towel here and I don't remember seeing Erin take one lol, so off with towels. Then over to Judson....I took a few week break because you do what you've gotta do and I needed to and I I did. But now I guess I should go. I already wrote 6 pages in the brilliantly pink bubble gum barbie journal lol, even the lines are pink on the pages so I'm using a black pen instead of Oh...say a pink one. I like blank books, I actually have a section of them on my book shelf. I'll spend quite a bit of time perusing the blank books at the store, like there's anything different to see in each one. But actually there is...some are line less, some have lines, some have little doodlies around the edges.......I wonder if there are people out there who like to watch blank video tapes? I don't. Ok, I really gotta to hair and wardrobe.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Hello......I've got 7 self imposed minutes left on here....I need to weed and if I'm going to do it I'd better do it before it gets warm because I'm like chocolate and I melt in the sun. Besides, after all the rain once we get warm again the weeds are going to explode in a profusion of unwanted foliage and my one yard goal in life is to keep it under control....just don't lose that grip on controlled chaos and all will be well. So, yeah.......I got and read the 2 books the doc dude told me to read, well he told me 3 but I might have one of them already lol. Anyway....I've pretty much read the first one and once you stop rolling your eyes it's pretty good, pretty much what I say all the time anyway, but good to read anyway. It's The Four Agreements, I still need to read the other one, The Artist's Way or something like's by a drunk author or painter or something. Should be good. I also went an bought a pink leather is really PINK, sometimes I wonder what I'm thinking but I guess in the moment I didn't feel like black. It's Bubble gum Barbie pink......but now I can write all the stuff I don't write here lol. And if anyone decides to read it they have no right to get pissed, because they aren't supposed to....hee. OK, my 7 are up, I will go weed. Bye. hour in the yard and a few minutes not minding my own business. We had the BBQ for Joe's birthday and it went off pretty well even though it rained later on, but everyone pretty much got to finish eating first. I got all 30 chairs back to where they belonged all in one minivan load, without removing the car can get ANYTHING into a minivan. ANYTHING I SAY!!!!!!. Everything is pretty much back to order around here, I've recuperated from last weekends festivities and have read the book lol. Books are magic.....anything you need you can find in a book, anything. Magical books. Hey, there are even books on magic! Dude! I need to iron....every single item of Joe's work wardrobe is clean...woohoo.....all will be ironed at once.....woohoo. I like ironing, it's like instant gratification.......wrinkly.....smooth.....ooooohhhh. I wish more clothes needed to be ironed. Though when I was in Denmark the guy I worked for used like three shirts a day and they all needed to be ironed......I did get tired of it then.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I'm getting ready for tonight, yep...sitting right here...I have magic mice doing my work for me. I don't know, it always seems to come together in the end. So here I am...I went to the doctors this morning....nothing wrong with me, just a whim lol. I'm fine but advised to free flow writing and read a couple of books. I bought 2 of them, doctors orders right? I think they are the Four Agreements and, um.......oh yeah...the Artist's Way. Gotta be better than what I'm trying to chew my way through right now...ironically what I'm trying to read right now is called Four Fallen Women...Joe got it for me at a booksale lol. This is my second attempt at it and it is SLOW......sorta good by my golly. The last story is a Stephen Crane one and I love Stephen Crane...too bad he's dead. Maybe I should just skip ahead to that one? So anyway......I think I'll give that free flow writing thing (insert long break here, phone rang) a try. It's amazing how much waiting there is in life.....I'm waiting. For something. Maybe 6:00 lol. Or the dogs to come back, little twits. Maybe I should put the tables out? But where, where should I put the tables? Oh I know....I can dust off the wine glasses, I told Joe to get some and Alan said he'd bring some. I'm a little worried because I'm flying at this with no disposable back ups lol. You need a fork? You don't need no stinkin' have a chop stick! Another long break......9 kids, DHS..police officer....dirty texts on childs (not mine) fun....gotta go, bye.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

So, I decided to go for the BBQ on the birthday......gosh darnit. I just invited people and then told Joe....hey, were having a BBQ. It's about time.....usually there's every excuse in the book not to have people over, but I'm not ashamed of my house, life, or family so dally nobbins....I wanna have a BBQ! And I'm not cleaning my hose for it lol, or weeding.....and there are weeds in the gravel by the road......MUAHAHAHA.......So now I've been busy, mostly milling about but busy with that. I can't do much of anything til tomorrow I pulled out everything that could possibly be eaten, from the fridge that is, for dinner and snack, went grocery shopping and such....Walmart sells silverware in four packs!!!!! I was so excited because I'm one of those freaks who likes to use real dishes and usually cheap silverware comes with all the miscellaneous spoons and what not....and I just want forks and knives. So woohoo. woo. Went and reserved chairs, scoped out cakes, got the extra dishes from my Mom's house, figured out tables and counted people. We invited 71 and 46 have said they'd come so woohoo. I can't wait til I can start setting up tomorrow...ooh ohh ooh ooh ooh....I have a project. Joe is sleeping but he WILL marinade tonight, and yes I will cause a ruckus over it because if he doesn't I will do it and I don't know much about island marinade. So there. My favorite saying is "lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine". I love that. It's so true. I'm kind of hoping for overcast but not raining tomorrow because our front yard gets the last heat of the day and can be quite broilolicious. I want to get one of those offset umbrellas for the front patio because I love it out there but it just gets too sunny. I want to take the dogs to one of those self service dog washing places but then I think...."is that silly?" I do have a bathtub.....but for some reason I really hate doing it in there ...... and as we all know.....if it isn't fun it won't get done. Also a moment on the lips forever on the hips.....but that's another story. Soooo......I really need to feed the kids but they once again are having a blast outside and I hate to call them in. That's gotta be the one biggest pro to summer vacation is that everything gets pushed a little later. They can play til whenever and there's no real rush to get them to bed. HA!!!!! I just had a thought. I should give Joe 6 lavendar plants for his birthday. heehee. Do I dare? It would be interesting. hmmmm......OK no. Good sense prevails this time. I guess I should go haul the kids in. bye.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Anyone see American Beauty? I know people have, but nobody ever remembers the wife of the neighbor. Well that's what I'm supposed to be...butt out, serve and wait. It really sucks that I just don't have that ability....I can butt out, I can serve.......but I'm having a hell of a time with wait. Especially when I don't know exactly why I have to wait, what I'm waiting for, or for how long I have to. There's a scene in that movie where she is sitting at the dining room table in the middle of the day, the house is immaculate around her, she is immaculate, I'm sure dinner is immaculately ready, and she's just sitting there...waiting. Writing this is not going to be seen as "appropriate" disrespectful....yeah well. I don't want to hide and I don't want to cover of the kids pegged it pretty accurately. They said it was like someone was going to keep looking for something and keep picking til they found what I would object to and then use that as a reason to go apesh*t over how controlling I am. That about sums it up. The only thing I would say I'm controlling over is standing up for myself and I've learned that I would say in the last decade or so. I've experienced too many people who will run you over, take the inch, back up and run you over again before they take the mile. As usual, this crap just so happens to pop up right before an event which keeps me in total limbo because I don't know which way to go....I hate that. I like holidays and birthdays but they are getting to be something, well actually have gotten to be something to dread. I, of course, am plowing on through "I will not let someone else ruin my life, I will not let someone else ruin my life" but good lord....when someone else seems determined to suck every bit of everything out of you it gets old. Since someone's birthday is in two days....where does that leave me? Do I have a big old in-your-face-asshole birthday party or do I just throw a cake at them and grunt something. I can do the big old-in-your-face birthday party and they will be all "aww....that was so nice, gee your wonderful" or I can throw a cake at them and give them reason to feel so gosh darn wronged. I do know one thing though I am going to enjoy my birthday, I will crazy proof it beyond all crazy proofing...cue Mission Impossible music......and I will sit and say "ahhhh....that was nice, aren't I wonderful" lol. I was reading about narcissism a while ago and they said that narcissists give themselves the love they don't get from others....hmmmm....I've gotten pretty good at the self love. I wouldn't say I'm a narcissist though, more just I'll take care of myself, you take care of yourself because I can't take care of myself and yourself too. Next problem I have is that my high school reunion is coming up and I'm supposed to buy tickets.....I don't really care one way or the other but I would go just because.....I ask "do you want to go" am answered "yes". So do I buy 2 tickets and hope there's no blowup the day before, do I crazy proof the reunion and just accept that one ticket may go to waste and not let it bother me? I could just skip it but then I'm kowtowing to crazy and on my way to becoming the neighbor in American I just say dammit, but 2 tickets and go on my own if necessary. Ok...that's what I'll do. You know, if everything were just even one way or the other I could deal much easier but this all over the map stuff is exhausting. It goes like this..thursday everything is fine, I help him cook a small feast to bring to work, he even says thank you.......friday, all's normal, I text him and ask "where are you taking me tonight?" no answer, so I figure ok, lol, nowhere....I tried....probably too pushy lol, buy hey all was calm, I thought there was a chance. So, the kids and I decide to have a party, he goes out to a friends house and I have a friend come over.....I enjoyed my evening and he mumbled something about me being wonderful before he went to bed...AND THEN.........SATURDAY!!!!! Things are ok, a little eggshellish.....the day progresses, I start leaving a wide circle....he starts doing things he knows will start something until he comes up with the idea to transplant a bush into the area I, with permission, dug up to plant lavendar in. It's right along the fence in front of the garden, lavendar is a low growing plant so it won't block the sun, the bees like it and it smells good....supposedly relaxing lol. So I go out there and he's planting this bush that will grow 8-10 feet kind of off centered and lined up directly with the plum tree, just a weird place. So I say "Hey, why are you planting that there, I'm going to put lavendar there", and he says "it was in the way", so I say "well, why not plant it on the corner of the fence?" and he grabs the bush like he's going to yank it out of the ground and says"you got a problem with me blah blah?", I just shrug....I mean, ok yank the bush out....duh. He gets all flustered, lets go of it and procedes to finish planting it. Then grabs it with both hands pulls it out and throws it in the compost bin. This is where I need to back down and go away, but I've been there and it just gets worse because he's going to keep searching till he finds the I go to his green house and just start moving his plants around I only move like 4 of them, I really would like him to grasp that he can't just do whatever he wants, he doesn't seem to understand that. If I have something or an interest and he decides that he wants it I have to give it up or go through this crap....I want lavendar and we already talked about it and he was good with the idea....he was even going to split the one bush I have for me so I didn't have to buy any.....not anymore I guess. But anyway, he starts grabbing plants and drop kicking them into the yard and holloring about dragging all his plants and greenhouse out to the road with a free sign....umm....and this is a threat to me because? Then he starts stressing over the debris pile in the corner, which btw, he wanted there, I didn't but let him have it his way. You put a debris pile in the back corner of your yard you have to move it later. I'm all for getting rid of it right away, but I'm so bossy and controlling I just let it slide. Well, since I could go on forever, I will stop....I don't really want to air my dirty laundry but I don't really see it as such, I see it as keeping myself from becoming the neighbor lady. I've been to parents, bosses, and counseling.....where else do you go? Besides, if there are things in your life you're so ashamed of that they mustn't be spoken, well .....somethings wrong with that scenario. Why can't I just have the nice one? Why do we have to do this? What's the point? Well, now I can move on....until next time. Golly, I feel like I can do anything, like, like.....I'm a big ol bird...and, and.....I have a string around one of my legs and just when things are really coming together, oh....this bird lives over a pond, the bull on the ground yanks my chain....I mean string and I end up all flapping around in the pond and big ol birds can't swim very well. Except geese and stuff, but I'm not that kind of bird. I'm a pink bird...with green and purple head feathers......wait.....maybe I'm a Muppet?

On a different yet related note....we joined Costco again and due to the mood of the day I spent more than I ever have, but I got the mega pack of toilet paper and the whole collection of mega bags of frozen veggies....and the tub o spinach...which the kids polished off before bedtime. And the mega bag of uncooked tortillas, and the mega box of little cans of V-8, Anna and Isaac love those....and the mega bag of shredded cheese, and the mega tub of cream cheese...oh oh and the mega jar of kalamata olives....mmmmm. Alrighty, I just put clam strips in the oven....I've had this little box in the freezer but there's no way to reasonably split them up among the kids so they are MINE. All mine. I don't know about you, but I feel much better and now I can tra-la-la along and pretend like nothing happened...blast....except the birthday is still coming....why do some people have to be so dang difficult? I would love to some year be able to get into planning something with....what's the word? Eagerness? Joy? Joy is a good thing, if you are lacking in joy why are you here? God did not put us on this earth to grump around, so I think that if you are you comitting a huge sin and need to knock it off....think about're lying on your death bed and the only thing going through you is how horrible life was what do you think God is going to say? I think he will be pissed and say "I gave you the greatest gift possible and you WASTED it! How dare come back as a bug! No, worse than a come back as a slug!" Ever wondered why there were slugs? Now you know....they are the re-incarnated souls of joyless people. I think this week I shall go to a movie, I shall.