Uh huh, yeah.......you're just here because I have cheese.

    I get a piece of cheese and Surely shows up.  Typical.  Anyway, Hi!!!  Been awhile but I'm Ba-aaaack.  What's his name is still "incarcerated", tomorrow he pleads not guilty or so I've heard.  Ok.  Tomorrow is also the day I should get to get the visitation modified to none.  Fingers crossed.  Also the day Anna gets enrolled in the Early College High School.  I took the day off so we'd darn tootin' better not have a snow day.  Anyway again....sweet brother O mine, if you're reading go away, anyone else I don't care you know what you're in for lol.  The reason I do this is because it's protective in a way......someone wants to complain about the "crap" I feed the kids.....pics online, wanna complain about the rags the kids are wearing ok, pics posted.   Wanna flip out.....go ahead.  It won't be a secret, much.  That's why I started lol....wanna up and disappear for a month, go ahead.  Then....and then.....it became kind of fun.  Don't know who reads it, don't care.  I have decided though that I need a bucket list with some more fun stuff on it.....I've done the basics.  Anyway, gibberish aside. 
     He's still in jail, kids seem to be doing great.  Isaac is doing awesome in school, teacher has remaked on his improvement in getting work done in a timely manner, scored a 241 on the State reading test when 226 is exceeding, whatever that means, and just in general seems to be doing ok.  Jakes' teacher comments have turned from generally good to "wow, could he be any better" ones. Jake signed up for baseball without his brother which I wasn't sure he would want to do but he had no problem with it.  Of course someone wants to say they are "suffering psychologically" from the situation and need counseling, but if anything they have been knocked for a loop and have taken it as a sign to behave which could be good or bad.  Both are used to the ups and downs and inconsistencies so I don't really think this was much of a surprise to them.  Girl got over her spate of wild-childism of a couple years ago and has been acting incredibly responsibly.  She applied and got accepted at the early College HIgh School so as she puts it, she can get away from the kids who just want to mess around and be with kids who want to learn and graduate with a large chunk of college credits to boot.  Ok, the "to boot" was my addition.  I like tho say "to boot" but then I like boots.  She's volunteering with an eye towards references when she needs them and is generally just thinking about stuff.  Other girl is taking first girls lead and planning on Early College and has started the same volunteer stuff, she's still on the honor roll and again and generally self sufficient in getting her stuff done.  Oh yay......sick boy.  Haven't dealt with cookie tossing in awhile......but he's back in bed.  Probably gonna be hungry in the morning lol. 

I guess my train of thought is something along the lines of "you ain't gonna mess us up this time either though I must admit this is the most impressive attempt yet.".   As Anna says, "If I don't do well he wins".  Sad but true.......you go girl.

Too much? Shhhhhh.....don't tell anyone.....blah blah blah poop.....

Message body

Jennifer,

We have not spoken much about what the boys are eligible for after my death. My disability benefits will stop immediately. The boys are eligible under what is called DIC or dependent indemnity compensation from the VA. Each one should receive up to 350.00 each per month. I don't know how much they will get from Social Security, that will be determined by them but I'm estimating up to 900.00 each.

I have chosen not to pay anymore on my life insurance benefits and will probably be terminated. Self inflicted deaths are not covered anyway.

You have killed me many times before my actual death. I can't believe how you hounded me about online crap while in Afghanistan. Other wives worry about their spouse's safety and your biggest concern was you internet crap. You tracked me like an animal until our separation through online, cell phone or at the mention of a woman's name while you were screwing around with ex lovers and other men from online and offline. Most of the things I learned about was after the fact.

It was difficult coming home all screwed up mentally, physically, and emotionally and you compounding it daily by your endless interrogation of my daily activities at work where I had to drag myself to perform daily. You were accusing me daily of infidelity when you were the one that was committing it daily. I wonder how many afternoons you spent in a motel with  *********** screwing him or some other @@@@ buddy you have on my dime and coming home to give me my daily ration of shit.

I find it totally appalling that you present yourself as being all holy and righteous when you are nothing more than a gold digging white trash. You might want to look at the fraud you committed when we separated. You were getting child support and in-kind support in the amount of 2,850.00 monthly. That would not have qualified you for food stamps and cash from welfare.It'll suck for your taxes and pay to get garnished to pay back all the amount you defrauded the state.Not to mention that you were selling your food stamps to your mom for cash.

Well, not much to say, other than death is welcome considering all the hell you've put me through the last one being May 2nd of last year when you deliberately assaulted me and damaged my body further that what it had. Life has not been the same for me since that day. I'm tired of waking up to daily pain and headaches and having that greet me each day.

I hope you are prepared to deal with the boys and their anger, behavioral problems and possibly suicide attempts when all of this is over. We love each other so much that you are bound to be the focus and blame for their anger, resentment, and the fact that their dad won't be a part of their lives anymore.

It hurts me to look at them and know that I won't be around for their 10th Birthday and beyond. This might be a relief for you since you are always looking at my demise. Your response when I told you that I tried to hang myself on May 2nd of last year in jail was...."Too bad you didn't die!"

I will make sure that whatever method I use is 100 percent successful. Christmas Day is coming up and maybe I'll just give you and the kids a Christmas you'll never forget. As far as things go for me, I've been dead since I came back from Afghanistan other than biological death which will happen soon. Dying does not bother me one bit. A 1 oz. slug coming out of a 12 gauge and the barrel in one's mouth will assure a certain death. One millisecond is not much wait for that slug to sever the spine from the brain at the cerebral cortex and the whole world as I know it will turn black forever. Peace at last!

These are some thoughts you may want to look at or forget. Do not try to complicate things by printing this email and taking it to DHS or wherever the @@@@ you take it to. I love my boys and will not harm them in anyway. Please allow them their visitation on Christmas day since this will be the last time they wll be seeing their dad. 

 

 

 

 

I know you're not supposed to air dirty laundry and such but maybe the world would be a better place if more people did.  After years of crap I can now say he has been arrested on 5 counts of sexual something in the first degree all of which are measure 11 offenses and he will probably be in jail for a bit.....don't know how long of a bit. 

 

Merry Christmas.

Really? Really, really really?

     I mean really?  Things are settling out, tread lightly, establish boundaries......this can work.  Boys are gone, with him........the girls and I are sitting around talking and she starts crying and lamenting never having had a "nice guy" living in the house and how she remembers hiding when her dad came home from work and how the other he wasn't any better with his "It's ok to do this's".  Oooops.....hadn't told me that part before.  I'd only heard the sleazy questionable parts, not the I couldn't get away because his arms were around my waist parts, or the alone in the room clothes off touching parts.  She told her sister, who did tell me about the money and birth control part and I did have that out with him, she told two, possibly three friends, who told no one.  She didn't tell me anything.  He would have been gone long before the totally losing it and the threats of death.  By the way.......don't do that around children.  It lands you in jail.  Wth, wth, wth?  I mean really?  Wth is he thinking?  He's doing this during the same time period that his brother is being sentenced to 8 years for the same thing.  Really?

It's warm in here, but then again.....I am wearing flannel

   Don't know what's been going on lately but I've been sleeping 5-6 hours and getting up.  I don't have a problem with that as such but when one goes to bed at 10:00 one then gets up at 3:00 or 4:00.  That's early enough that the spiders are still running around freely.  I don't see spiders during the day much but they skitter around at night.  Spiders aside, I have this great urge to buy paint......but I won't.  Not til the quantity of stuff in the house levels out to an appropriate amount of stuff for the size of the house.  I figure that to be oh........1250 sq. ft. divided by 5......250 sq ft each, divide by age of person......multiply by number of pets.....yeah, way less than we have.  It amazes me how much stuff goes out of this house and there's still more.  When Tom left he took 2-3 pick-up loads, I've always got a Goodwill box going, in the past year I've hauled 4-5 van loads off....and yet there's more.  I keep thinking I must be getting to the end, I must.  I pulled 4 large boxes of stuff out of the boys room a couple days ago......I have faith it will end. 

    I've heard that people in times of change or uncertainty start to hold onto stuff in case they need it, I've always gotten rid of stuff.  If you give it away it always comes back when you need it....if you sell it you have to buy it back if you need it lol.  Anyway, times of whatever I've always wanted to be unfettered by stuff.  Almost there, yeah....almost there.......AND, once I am I can buy PAINT!!!  Does anyone else think one exclamation point looks too feeble?  or is that just me?  Once the stuff is done I'm going to take everything off the walls and sit back and relax as if I were in Yoville or my little Sim house......I'm not nuts, it's early and I don't care.  If I don't work today, I'll go through stuff and maybe clean up the side yard or pick blackberries. 

Off to shower then start the round of kids awakenings........first day of school and all.

How do you make that sound? It's not quite a raspberry but kind of a raspberry whew combo?

     Well it's been quite a year, two months and eleven days.....or 437 days......got my 5 or so tubes of paint out and dragged the big canvas out from behind the couch and made me a picture so hopefully I can change my direction a bit back towards where I want it to be.  I like my picture, it's blue and red (limited colors lol), nobody else does but that's ok....ok I lie....Carolee says she does but she's just nice and I can always force a child to like it.  Childhood family folk never say anything, I think they just cringe and say "OMG she's doing something DIFFERENT.....stop her, stop her quick".   You think I jest?  I've been banned for the posting of a cute picture of two people having fun....omg.  Ever feel like you're stuck in a Martha Stewart world?  Anyway.........

......it's funny how I feel like I can talk about stuff now but don't really want to. Maybe I'll give it a whirl....like the HUGE concrete pad in the backyard.  Really?  Ok, I refer to the thing as the Mega shed project or the Launchpad.........whatever you call it it ain't coming out so I've been trying to figure out exactly what to do with it.......It's huge, no idea how big exactly but big enough for a largest possible shed, a greenhouse, and a hot tub "structure".......and it's visibly crooked.  I mean really....who goes into a project of such magnitude and expense WITHOUT A PLAN????   Whatever, I now am the possessor of such a treasure.  I know how much fill is in there because I put it there, I know how much re-bar and concrete are in there because I wrote the checks.....and I know it would cost more to take it out....so, cool bbq?  fire pit?  gazebo?  planter box garden?  all of the above?  What does it matter lol, the whole yard has gone to pot....heehee, I said gone to pot.  Ironically that is the one thing I don't have to worry about it going to anymore.  Next year, next year I'll get on the yard.  Maybe this year.......nah.  This year I'll aim for some semblance of not needing a herd of goats to get it back under control. 

     I finally got into the subbing thing around Christmas time last year and that'll do for now, actually got hired for a job in february of last year but with the way things were with the schools and budgets they just let all temporary positions go to make room for permanent people shuffling around.   So, back on the sub list I go.  It's not a job one does for the pay lol....took a 20-25% paycut this year over last year, no benefits and no stability......but it has an awesome schedule.  I like the work for the most part and once I get it figured out and go get my masters I can at least sub at a higher level lol.  I wanted to write lyrics for Under the Boardwalk except make it Back on the Sub List a while ago, never did.  Maybe I will tonight.  Off topic here, but one thing I like about life now is that I can buy and actually listen to music now.....which I'm doing now : D . 

     Kids......hmmmm....who knows how they're doing.  I've given the girls an excellent education in what not to do with their lives.  I worry about Anna becoming too hard, I worry about Isaac being too sensitive, Jake is a survivor....he may wreak havoc elswhere but he'll be fine.  I worry about Katie the least, hopefully she'll avoid the pitfalls.......but if she doesn't she'll be ok.  She reminds me a lot of me, she'll sit back figure it out and move on. 

     I wish I didn't have to do all the self protective measures, I wish things could just be logical and sane, but I guess they aren't going to be.  Things are going to be expletives and threats and all I can do is know the legalities and stay within those boundaries and all should be fine.  And I hope he's with his current long enough to transfer all of his stuff onto her lol.......poor woman.  Anyway. 

    

It's hot and I'm jazzed on coffee

  Those are good nights.....those nights where you kinda feel like staying up and kinda feel like lot's a coffee.  They used to be nights of spastic laundry dish doing until I saw the light one night.    Did you know you can spastically do every dish, wash every bit of fabric in the house, sweep every corner and it doesn't matter?  It doesn't.  ok....I will admit if you never do any of those things you will regret the 3 day laundry marathon that you eventually get to......yeah I'm down to I think 3 loads.  It's been a sucky 3 days lol.  Now it's more a time to go buy those songs you keep looking up on you tube, good golly it's hot.  What happened?  Did my order to cancel summer get lost?  Fall, winter, spring, fall, winter, spring that's all we need.  Though I must admit the allergy issue was much alleviated today....just noticed that actually.  I don't think I've blown my nose once or scared a cat with a sneeze all day.  Cool. 

Anyway, school ended, my temporary position has ended but at least now I have a work history more recent than 10 years ago.  Got to the end to experience just a bit of drama....Nooooooo, I don't do drama, I don't do drama, I don't do drama........aaaackkkk.   Drama survived, besides who am I fooling I either do do drama or attract it really well.  I just wanna laze around looking for bunnies in the clouds......or giraffes or big scary monsters.  The one who mustn't be mentioned, I'll just call him Tom.  That's T O W M B M switched around to towmmb which sorta sounds like Tom.  So anyway, Tom blew a gasket again, this time over Father's day......something like this. Him "I want the boys on Father's day" me "OK", him "Blah blah blah call attorney denying me rights blah blah blah blah", me "enough already I said ok".  End of call, 10 minutes later....ring ring.....me "hello?" he "hi I'm an attorney" me "oh for pete's sake".  Of course I paraphased a bit, left out some expletives and tears and such crap, but that's the gist of it.  So as a result of that conversation the boys and I got to take the train and it has been dictated that we are following the visitation schedule to the letter, no variation.  This works out great for me because I like to plan and now I can.......would suck for someone who doesn't plan very well.   I got me a calendar and have the next year and a half scheduled out now......go ahead, give me a date and I'll tell you who's got the boys. 

Let's see, boys are done with baseball......they won the playoffs woohoo, go boys team.....and done with cubscouts for the normal stuff.  Unfortunately most of the summer activities fall on Tom's days but that's ok, though there were a couple I had been looking forward to.  Oh well.  Anna is now a member of the Olyannes, the school dance team,  oh dude.....I just noticed they're the Olyannes and she's Anna....she's an Olyanna!!!  Katie is still trucking along with the violin and seems perfectly content with that.  Dogs went up to a schauzer rescue in Washington and have been adopted by people who are doing such things as taking them to classes and probably putting bows in their hair and I have reverted back to cats as I had before.....I had 5 at one point lol.  Then they all got gone....Cloe, Lucy, Nuts, Henry and Emily.  Now I've got George and Surely.  The household pet shui has been restored. 

I'm tired, life is good......g'night.

Oh who knows.....call it what you like

Hello.  This is going to be a mind making up exercise.  I have a problem.  It's huge........gargantuan even.  Almost too much for one person to bear.  Are you ready for this?  My parents want to throw me a 40th birthday/you're divorced.......again type party.  You'd think I could find something else to not be able to sleep over.  I guess I'm lucky that's all I've got to fret about......."Dude.....my parents want to throw me a party, can you believe the audacity?"  I'm looking forward to turning 40.....I've been telling people I'm 40 for the better part of a year already anyway.  It does seem weird to be 40.....I don't feel 40, still feel about 26........29 was a good year also,  although that could be attributed to the end of decade divorce phenomenon.  Have you ever decided that you were just not going to use a form of punctuation?  I have....won't use colons or semi-colons.  Anyway, as far as the divorce issue, I was thinking about it the other day and had a certain feeling of accomplishment come over me......there's something to be said for doing it, not once but twice, that well......I don't know.......kind of makes you feel freer or stronger or less likely to really care what the neighbors think about your armpit high lawn or when you get the blank stare over some perfectly logical statement.  Maybe it just makes you weird?  So anyway, I've been stewing over telling my parents no I don't want no stinkin' party and just saying ta hell with it and just giving them a list of every person I've ever met.  Well maybe not every person.....hell why not?

Wow....how’d I go there?

Posted Date: : Jul 14, 2008 11:24 PM

  

Today was the first day of the pigfest….I mean County Fair.  In defense though there are a lot of pigs there.  Grandpa brought Anna and Katie out there this morning and I managed to get there with the other four there by 9:30 am.  Anna did her showing thing, her pigs apparently stink, but Anna did ok.  It was the judging of the animal day and face it, if your  pig don't have good hams, your pig don't have good hams.  I can relate as I don't have good hams either….though my bacon is fine.  So me and the four wandered around the fair afterwards til about 2:45 then went home.  Tomorrow I need to have all six out there by 7:00.  The only benefit of having to be there so early is that there's no one at the gate to pay….muahaha….I don't feel bad though because after 4 days I think they should pay me to come back in.  I swear the kids and I have seen Professor Bamboozle's show at least 30 times over the years.  Somehow I ended up telling the kids I'd give them each $20 to spend as they see fit, I never would have done that with just my own but the other two don't understand not going on rides.  Doesn't make sense does it?  Actually I figure it makes perfect sense….that's why some utility is frequently shut off lol.  I just can't, seriously, I can't hand over the cash……..I mean really WTH….$4 to go in a circle (take the $4 and multiply by 6……um no).  I'm not stingy or cheap really because I have no problem giving them the $20, but to stand there and fork it over myself hurts.  Really.  At least this way I don't have to be the mean one humming and hawing

Ok, this is five days later…….computer went freaky on me when I was writing the above so I just gave up.  Ironically it started back spacing on everything but the back space key itself has never worked, The One Who Mustn't be Mentioned says it's something in the computer, I say it's the keyboard because it's done it since we bought it and the old one never had that problem.  Seems to me we could have returned it right away and tried another one out, but noooooo.   So now we have no backspace ability. Se la vie.  Anna showed her pig again on Friday and did an awesome job of it, and I don't say that lightly….she really did.  The auction was Saturday night and Molly I think went for $560, not as good as years past but still decent for a 12 yo.  Besides the pig had lame hams. 

I've got Junior over here for awhile, his mom's trying to have a baby…soon, soon.  He's a sweetheart though he freaks Isaac out a bit.  Um…..Dorkbutt filed an "injured spouse claim".  Idiot.  Though I'm actually glad he did because now I can move forward un-impeded with this need to be fair to the moron.  The one who mustn't be mentioned says I/we should take legal measures to actually get what he owes and should have been paying all these years.  Crap.  I do have all the paper work though, just a pain in the butt.  Why couldn't he have just been happy taking advantage of us?  Why does he persist in being  the perpetual victim?  Ack…best thing I ever did was divorce him.  I feel sorry for Connie though.  Anyway, the only thing I can think of that would have been an injury to him is that he didn't ask for a modification when he got fired from yet another good job and kept having the same child support but that was only a difference of $35 a month, hardly worth arguing 4 years later.  He's so stupid…you know how stupid he is?  A month or so ago he comes to get the girls and is all manly and puffed up and going to get his way and make me obey.  So he says "you  need to come get the girls on Sunday because the price of gas is killing me and you need to do something to help me out because I'm poor and you sit on your butt all day and do nothing"  or something of that ilk, so I say "ok, we just paid $1020 for the girls down payment on their braces you can pay your half then" and he goes "sputter sputter I don't have $500" I say "I know, that's why we're not making you pay it" and he goes "but you have to help me and pick up the girls".  I have no problem getting the girls from somewhere if it's hard for him to do it but he's talking the price of gas and how it's breaking him…..um….I know he's no good at math but honestly…..$4 once or twice a month shouldn't break the bank…give up a slurpee or something.  He doesn't seem to have any comprehension of the money paid that he is supposed to be paying, I would think if someone isn't pursuing you for $500 that you would let the $4 slide.  $4 that isn't even their responsibility to begin with.  You know…back when we got divorced I, the one with the kids who made $900 a month, sat in the lawyers office and through my own stupidity said he, the one who makes $2000 can't afford to pay $471 a month in child support, and to bring it down to $350.  Which they did.  May not sound like much but since then that adds up to almost $12,000  that I left in his stupid little wallet.  Add to that the loan we split for which he has neglected to pay his half for the past 4 years or so at about a gift from us amount of around $7200.  Then throw in such things as the half he's supposed to pay for any medical/dental/optical stuff that we have never asked him for and it all adds up to MAJOR DORK.  All he has done for the past 7-8 years is gripe that he can't claim one of the girls on his taxes, the cs amounts are set with the criteria that the custodial parent claims the kids, besides the fact that WHY SHOULD I LET HIM?  I don't exactly owe him anything.  Unless you ask him…..he'd say he should have the house….he only let me have it because I had the girls.  Besides the fact that I STILL HAVE THE GIRLS and he's just too incapable to be able to buy a house on his own…..someone has to fill out the paperwork you know, the house was a fair deal…..I could have taken half of his Pers at about $7500, the house had no equity…we could have sold the house had nothing for it and I could have taken half his retirement account instead.  Is it my fault he kept all of his retirement,  cashed  it out and now has nothing?   Nope.  If you ask him exactly how I have "screwed him over" he won't be able to come up with anything.  Just whiny, "I'm too stupid to be able to manage my life crap, poor little me".    So anyway, let him file his injured spouse claim and when it's over I'm though cutting him any slack for being stupid……. I'm getting to be good at bitchy I think.

[Edit] [Delete] [View Comments]

Subject : Sandwich bread and flowers

Posted Date: : Jul 8, 2008 9:40 AM

It's Tuesday, day whatever of I don't know how many days til school starts up.  I don't mind the kids being around; it's just that it's the first year in a long time where all kids will be gone all day.  OMG.  Summer's actually trucking along pretty nicely, no obnoxious weather, kids are decent, and life is good.  I picked my first official yard bouquet on Sunday, it's daisies, poppies and lavender.  It has only taken me 10-ish years to get stuff planted to pick….and life is good……and it's a very pretty bouquet to boot.  Thinking ahead to lunchtime, which I rarely do before breakfast if ever, I realized I had nothing normal to give them.  I guess I frequently don't but that's another story.  Anyway I actually got some bread going in the bread machine.  A white bread, said it was perfect for sandwiches.  We'll see.  I've yet to make a bread that was the wonderful homemade   sandwich type bread.  Winco used to sell farm bread and it was just totally awesome but they stopped.  Probably because it was too good.  It competed with the sales of the nasty Wonder stuff.   At any rate my little machine is chugging away over there for me. 

 

Dorkbutt got deployed…..you'd think he would be happy about it lol…..but I don't think he is.  Probably because now he can't complain about how much the one who mustn't be mentioned makes because he'll make the same…..ha.  Ha ha.   It's only six months though.  My brother is going to be nearby, across a border but close, maybe they can get together.  Maybe not lol.  Maybe I should go check on breakfast?

OS - Pasteurized processed cheese food substitute......

 Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food Substitute........

Posted Date: : Jul 8, 2008 8:32 AM

.......what is it and should we be eating it?  Have you ever given it much thought?  I have...since I was a wee child....pasteurized processed cheese food substitute and orange juice drink.  In breaking it down it's pretty obvious, pasteurized - heated to a degree of deadness knocking out all enzymatic action, processed - put through the culinary wringer, cheese - I like cheese, food - food is good, you eat it.  So far so good, we're ate dead wrung out cheese food.  It's still in a food category.......but then they throw in substitute?  What is a food substitute?  There's some toy cheese over at the church nursery that most of the kids have tried to eat.  Is that what it is?  It looks real, even feels real, it could definitely work as a cheese substitute but I wouldn't want to eat it.  Think about it next time you're confronted with pasteurized processed cheese food substitute........same thing when you're confronted with a glass of orange juice drink....the orange drink that has nothing to do with the juice of oranges.  I could ask what is it?  But I won't.  I'll just put them both on the shelf with  Gold 'n' Soft, Wonder Bread, Twinkies and that Supersize Me guys french fries.  Maybe in a decade or three someone will need a snack. 

OS - On a happier note

  On a happier note

Posted Date: : Jun 30, 2008 8:42 AM

My husband is a jackass, I'm not.  That makes me happy.  So, I just got the oatmeal going for the kids, my own and Danielle and Erin.  Katie is a camp all week which is good because she doesn't like oatmeal.  They all wanted to play with the crap box so I said sure and while getting the scissors out of the scissor vase it got dropped and broken.....dangit.  I added it to my pile of broken pottery I've got going on the counter, fix or toss fix or toss?  It's the old fish or cut bait dilemma.  I'm thinking of making a broken pottery album in my pics.  I had all the kids listen to me explain why I have the right to be grumpy and agree with me.  Now that that's established we can move on.  Anna is going to a friends house at 1 today for a few hours, I probably will have to get gas...hmmmm.  How far will $4 get me lmao.  I've given myself 50 miles a week of driving and that should cover about what I do.  I'm sure I'm in the crazy minority but I like the gas prices.....life is too mundane if you never have to think about it, besides people spend so much more a gallon on coffee and water so what's the big deal?  My opinion.  Of course I don't drive very far.  I need to go to Roth's, they've got cheap cantalope and yogurt through Tuesday.  I bought 6 cantalopes and 18 yogurts last week and they were gone by saturday.  I do love the crap box....Erin is making a robot face, Danielle a robot, Isaac a robot face, Jacob an I don't know, and Anna a cat toy.   Oh...Jake's making a cat toy too.  Jake's having a tough time of it right now and Anna said Jake keeps having fits just to have fits.......the genetics are strong in that one.  Toodles til later.

  Bras have bows so we don’t wear them inside out

Posted Date: : Jun 26, 2008 11:20 AM

I really think it's true, I use that little bow as a guide quite often.  Now the one I don't get is the tassle, there is a Queen Latifah line of under garments, did you know that?  Queen Latifah bras and panties......anyway I have two brassieres, a pink one and a black one, and they have this little dangly tassle....I feel so queenly......and it just tickles.  I don't get it but I'll let it slide.......though it was obviously designed by someone who doesn't wear bras.  Bows are enough in my opinion.  Without them I would frequently be wearing my bra inside out I think. 

OS - 18 years later

18 years later

Posted Date: : Jun 25, 2008 10:21 AM

I got a phone call oh, about 45 minutes ago from this fellow I met when I was 19.  He hadn't called for a few years because he left his phone on the roof of his car and drove off and lost it and had to go to Egypt to dig through old papers to find it again.  Um.  That's all, just um.  The reason I bring this up is because I'm wondering what is up with me that I would run far and fast from the guy who thinks I'm just so wonderfully perfect that I could never do any wrong and marry twice to men who think I need to prove myself worthy to be in their presence?  Maybe it was too scary up on the pedestal, it would be a long fall I guess.  He brought me a pineapple once....I like pineapple.  Back on my 23rd or 24th birthday he sent me this huge bouquet of flowers and hubby at the time....Dorkbutt, not the One Who Mustn't Be Mentioned.....didn't even notice, or rather figured I bought them myself.  Yup...bought myself mongo flowers.   I guess I know where to go if I ever feel like sitting on a pedestal.
Anna and Katie both have their mouth gear in place now, Anna just has normal braces but Katie has an expander thing in that will widen her mouth and make room for all her teeth.  I have to crank her head every morning which isn't as fun as it sounds, at first I was all this is ok, but now I'm afraid of breaking her.  She doesn't seem to mind much though, says it just hurts for a minute then goes numb.  Alrighty.
I explained to Isaac this morning what balls were, but not Jake.  Need to fix that lol.  "You stepped on my balls"  "what balls, I don't see any balls".  I just say why?  How?  and don't.  Now I must shower and go get grapes and cantaloupe.  and sugar.  sweet sweet sugar.

OS - Correction to the fat and dancing blogs sort of

  Correction to fat and dancing blogs sort of

Posted Date: : Jun 13, 2008 9:47 AM

So I blogged about being fat and most recently about me not dancing.  I was wrong, not about being fat, but about the non-dancing part.  I don't dance in public venues, this is true, but I used to dance ALOT at home.  I just realized   this morning, that for about the past year I've hardly listened to any music and I definitely haven't been dancing........ and that my friends is why I am fat.   Yes, it must be. 
My birthday is on monday....whoop whoop.  I was wanting to go to the beach but I've settled on going to the park and having a picnic, if anyone wants to go they're welcome ( Becca, Rebeka, Rachel, Shannon, Carolee???????) (and anyone else but I don't know anyone else that well but if you want to you can come so it might be weird but thats ok).  Maybe I'll get a clown.  I like even birthdays better than uneven ones.  it seems wrong to be 37, 38 sounds ok but 37 sounds incomplete or something.  Maybe it's some sort of number feng shui.  I guess I'll deal for a year.  My cousin spent a year thinking she was a year older than she was, what a b-day present to be given an  extra year.  Unless it puts you back on to an  awkward number.  hmmm.  I'll think on that. 
I need to plant my planter out front.  I'm thinking of putting strawberries in them.  Then I need to figure out how to keep the cat from jumping up into the window one.  Hmmmm.......I'll think on that too.  Good Lord.....I'm listening to Slightly Stoopid and it's all mellow and then track seven comes on and you're all WTH........then you pick yourself up off the floor and go skip to eight.  Why do they do that?  Making a point or something?  "Hey guys.....know what would be really cool? fwoooooo......let's like scare the crap out of people  halfway through this thing."   Maybe I'm just old.  "Turn that noise down, that isn't music...real music has a rythym.  Whippersnapper."  I'm going to go take a shower, I coconut oiled my hair 2 days ago and I have this candy bar smelling thing still going on.  Oh, we went and got our cholesterol checked last weekend....it was so romantic........mine rocks.  It's all the cheese, eggs, bacon, and coconut oil.  Ok, genetics may play a part in it too.  buh bye. 

OS - I don't dance

    I don’t dance

Posted Date: : Jun 8, 2008 1:31 AM

I don't, not I can't, but I don't.  You know how you go to bed and you're really tired and you're making those hhhhuuuuuccchhhh sounds but you just can't go to sleep?  You're lying there with thoughts just circling around in your head and just can't shake them?  Well that's me tonight.  I keep going over the lack of dance in my life and what's up with the Zyrtec commercials.  What is up with them, all they talk about is how taking Zyrtec for allergies gives you time, so much time you don't have when you use Claritin.  Like two hours you gain by using Zyrtec over Claritin because it starts working two hours quicker.  That's about the only aspect they push so I guess on all other levels it's about the same.  My problem with it all is that I use Claritin and love the way it works like in 10 minutes, so according to the commercial if I were to use Zyrtec instead of Claritin I would gain like an hour and 50 minutes.  Right?  According to them if I take a Claritin at 6 pm and it takes 10 minutes to kick in that I would have been allergy free at 4:10 pm if I had taken a Zyrtec.  Right?  So, a full hour and 50 minutes before I take the pill I would have been feeling the effects.  Cool.  Now the question that really bugs me.....what if you intend to take the Zyrtec at 6 pm but since you are already feeling the effects of this wonder pill at 4:10 you forget to actually take it?  Is there a sort of Zyrtec Mob that will come demand a payback?  Are you indebted to the next pill you take and lose all the hours of "free" relief you received against the next dose?  How does it work?  I think I'll just stick with Claritin.  Now where was I?  Oh....I don't dance.  Not I can't dance because I'm sure if someone stuck a gun to my head and demanded that I dance that I could pull off some sort of Jim Carrey/Damon Wayons parody of dance, but as far as intentionally going somewhere on purpose and moving my body to the rythym of the beat?  I just don't happen....yeah sure I can dance to Johnny Cash in the kitchen but that doesn't count.  Yes I have always been like this, I hated the hokey pokey, I all but refused to grow like a little flower, my Mom signed me up for dance class when I was about 10 and the only thing I remember about it was hating it intensely and begging my way out of going to the last class.  My Mom didn't make me go which means I must have done some really good begging.  Well, skip a bunch of stuff because now I'm getting tired, but just remember I will make a scene if you try and make me dance at a wedding or anywhere else. I will.  Wanna know another thing I don't do?  Public speaking, nope won't do it.  Maybe I just don't have anything to say.  Nah.  I got lots to say.   And on that note, this is Fanny Chanal bidding you adieu. 

OS - Just a quickie

 Just a quickie

Posted Date: : Jun 4, 2008 10:07 PM

Didn't have to take kids to graduation, alls well....whew.    

   

OS - Fanny Chanal

 Fanny Chanal

Posted Date: : Jun 4, 2008 2:58 PM

That's going to be my name if I ever need a new one.  Fanny Chanal.  Of course now I've given myself away if I embark on a life of crime.  Sh*t.  I'm tired, I think I had a case of the exhaustions.....you know when you just sit/lay there with your arms flung out making that hhhhuuuuuuuuuchhhhhhh sound?  I had that.....for three days.  Now I'm catching up on laundry.  We have a graduation to go to tonight......hhhhhhuuuuucchhhhhh.  I think instead of going to graduations, because you're supposed to graduate, there should be public humiliations for those that don't graduate, could be more interesting.  I guess they get to deal with enough after not graduating lol.  OK, fine go to graduations, I just haven't gotten over sitting through my own yet.  The kids are going to love it so.  I'm not too chipper right now......shoot me or something.   
I keep trying to work out how to get a week alone.  It doesn't work....where can you send all your kids and husband for a week?  At the same time?  Can they all go into cold storage?  Hmmmm......I guess I just wait til the boys start first grade next year and have all day school....woohoo.  A tip to anyone who plans on kids or plans on more kids....put 10 years between each one.  Don't do this every three years crap because as soon as you send one off to pre-school there's a baby....doh.  Alright...I love my kids.....but that doesn't mean they can't ever go away, I don't even get to sit through a graduation without them, that's just not right.  Sigh.  I need to do dishes.  And take a shower.  Maybe the Magic Fun Fairy will come smack me upside the head soon.   Danielle and Erin brought home info about camps they can go to and I told the school counselor that I could get them to and fro if she got them into one so now they want to go to horse camp....which sounds like it may be at Silver Creek Falls....doh.  If there's not a bus from the Y maybe I'll just take the (my) kids and spend 5 days at the park lol.  What would that be?  Like 80 miles a day for 2 trips?  There must be a bus.  Ooooohhhh....maybe just go camping up there....hmmmm.  See now...there's the Magic Fun Fairy, I knew she'd be back.  I tossed that particular brochure without looking at it so I don't know, guess I'll just have to wait.      

OS - Thanks Shannon

May 26, 2008 12:10 AM

That's a video I stole off of Shannon's blog, thanks Shannon.  It's a good one lol.  I'll have to look and see if I can find a video of my Give a damn's busted, cause that's a good one too.  After 17 years of domineering, unpleasant men I can truly say I really like who I am, I always have but not been quite as secure with myself as I am now.  I wouldn't trade 37 for 23 anyday, ever.  The problem is that the more you stand up for yourself the more shallow and grasping the ....oh let's just say abuser, gets until the silliness of it all just gets ridiculous.......then you say on your way dude.......and back they come.  Shoo, go......leemee alone.    
Look what I found!

OS - Starting to have too much fun

Starting to have too much fun......

Posted Date: : May 26, 2008 12:16 AM

......I need to get to bed.  That's what I need to do.  I just got all caught up posting pics of my food stash, just as it was, no straitening or clearing out.....in the nude as it were.  Now can someone explain what is so wrong with what I have?  Why is it worthy of divorcing or killing yourself over?  I don't get it myself but it's one of the many points of contention over here.  On one hand I'm to spend less but on the other I'm supposed to pay full price for everything.  Hmmmm....how does that work?  I am puzzled, I need an Oh Great One to lead me.  I looked at my pics....I think the house is very cute, not white trashy at all, I look at all the stuff we've done (I've done because I do everything) that he who mustn't be mentioned has no part in by his own choice.  I really get to thinking "how dare he?", how dare he try and bring me down.  The things he attacks are so ludicrous, like the food in the freezer.  huh?  And the white trashiness of me....alrighty.  I do have the offer of guidance from the white trash that came before me though, lmao.....thanks Oh Great White Trashiness, I'll be a good follower.    Crikey, I need to get to bed. 

 

OS - Moving

  moving

Posted Date: : May 25, 2008 4:14 PM

So the one who must not be mentioned is moving out on the first.  Again.  I wish he would get on with it because the idle threats get old.  One of these times I'll just get him a place and move him out myself and tell him to enjoy.  I realize that Myspace blogs are not the place for all this, I just don't care.  There's power in silence and I don't feel like being silent.  I would go to counseling with him but he says he doesn't need it.  He's a nice guy.  Yeah and ask Lacey Peterson what her hubby was like.  People have told me how he speaks so well of me.....hmmm.....is this the same person who can't come up with one positive attribute of mine?  The person of the white trash tirade?  I am the Queen of white trash, the trashiest of the white trash, and if you drive down our street our house is the most white trash house on the street.  Um ok.......what are we?  Like 13?  And just to throw it out there......if you don't want me to repeat it, DON'T SAY IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!  After almost 8 years of this I am just sick of it, going all the way back to I should tie a mattress on my back and hang out on Portland road.  Um why?  Of course I was stupid enough to ignore that one and stick around for all the rest....so karma works.  I do love Karma though, it gives you control.  I wonder what the celestial reward or come back is for airing your dirty laundry on Myspace?  I hope it's freedom.  Funnily enough I just flipped to my mail and read this........it's karmic I think.
She'd been taught 'housework is a woman's
> job,' but one evening, Jenny
> arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one
> load of laundry
> in
> the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the
> stove, and the
> table
> set. She was astonished!
>
> Turned out that Ralph had read an article that said,
> 'Wives who work
> full-time and then had to do their own housework were too
> tired to have
> sex'.
>
> The night went very well. The next day, she told her office
> friends all
> about it. 'We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up
> the kitchen. He
> helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry
> and put it
> away.
> I really enjoyed the evening.'
>
> 'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.
>
> 'Oh, that .., Ralph was too tired...'
>
> God is good.

So I don't work full time and am not too tired but that's good.  I just don't want to battle what can be found online, not because I'll never compare, but because why would I want to?  Anyway, anyone who hates me as much as it's been professed that they do, they can just move on out because I didn't make you the way you are.  Ooops...excuse me....I didn't make them the way they are.  It wasn't me.

 

OS - Carolee wants pie

Carolee wants pie

Posted Date: : May 20, 2008 9:15 AM

If I hear from her I'll bring her some, if not the boys decided they liked it lol, even though it's a bit "sour"....it's not, it's rhubarby.  Halli came over yesterday and stayed for over 2 hours before I sent her home.  I figured her mom probably wondered where she was, maybe.  I called her cell and left a message, and just called 2 more times with no answer.  Her mom finally called right after I sent Halli on her way and didn't seem bothered by the fact that her 8 year old was somewhere for 2 hours.  I think I'm gaining another one. Too bad none of them like rhubarb.   I heard a good line that explains some things well......one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.........doesn't that fit many....things?  Seems like they could pull their foot out of the grave, toss the banana peel in and go on their way. 
Why do people who are so unhappy with their life stick with it?  Why don't they go off to what will make them happy?  I personally feel like I could fly, like....like...like I could touch the sky......., so what's with people who never reach happy, at best they get to a level of not unhappy.  If they don't want to be happy then they shouldn't poison other people around them, go on your way, it's a free world and it will keep turning no matter what you do.  Right?  But then I think the meaning/point of life is to be happy....I didn't even have to sit on a mountain top for months for it to come to me, it just did one day.  If everyone was happy they wouldn't be doing bad things.  Right?  Because happy people don't do bad things.  So dammit, be happy.